some people work for the same organization for their working life.Others think that it is better to work for different organizations.Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

Although
it is thought by some that serving for various
companies
is finer,others are preferred to stay longer within the same
company
throughout their whole career length.In my opinion,I believe that versatility in career progress is more advantageous than
remain
Wrong verb form
remaining
show examples
in the same. On the one hand,
people
have the tendency to be a part of an
organisation
like
second
Add an article
a second
show examples
home for their whole dedicated service life.It is often seen that employees feel comfortable and get used to
overall
Add an article
the overall
show examples
cultural environment as well as they dedicatedly work for the interest of the
company
Change noun form
company's
show examples
alignments
Fix the agreement mistake
alignment
show examples
with
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
norms,values and principles.
As a result
,they can cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
well and acquire vast knowledge on different contexts of an
organisation
for their long-standing.working for long under
a familiar surroundings
Correct the article-noun agreement
familiar surroundings
a familiar surrounding
show examples
enforce building up a strong bonding with colleagues,superiors and customers and making an emotional attachment to the
organisation
as a whole.
Moreover
,long time service length refers to experienced
people
retaining with
gradul
Correct your spelling
gradual
increments in salary and some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
experts
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the experts
show examples
are chosen for acting as future leaders of the
company
.A government jobholder,
for example
,an employee of NAVY forces works in different areas within
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
for his whole service duration
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
retirement at
60s
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the 60s
show examples
which is determined by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
On the other hand
,others always look forward to working scopes in different segments of multiple organisations.As
modern
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the modern
show examples
world is fully competitive and
companies
nowadays every time
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
show examples
hiring
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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people
having a good command
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
different aspects namely management skills,technological experience,Microsoft office using capacity and so on,
thus
it is really important gaining expertise by working with various
companies
.
In other words
,different
companies
have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
of working methods and technologies for the completion of daily tasks.An employee working in
banking
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the banking
show examples
sector,
for instance
,generally works between 2 to 5 years and
then
switch
Correct subject-verb agreement
switches
show examples
to another bank in the search of
upgraded
Add an article
an upgraded
show examples
position with attractive remuneration.
Consequently
, the person grasps the opportunity of gaining experience
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
different banking software of both
companies
that are needed to maintain
customers
Change noun form
customers'
customer's
show examples
banking accounts.Clearly,working facilities under different corporate have a greater influence on career progress as well as social networking with different categories of
people
. In conclusion,while
people
may vary their opinions,I think to be sustained in
such
a raising competition,
people
are focusing more on
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of their knowledge and being an asset
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
company
rather spending
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
period of their job attachment in the same boundary of an
organisation
.
Submitted by aparnabarua017 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
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