Whether or not someone achieves their aims in life is mostly a question of luck? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Recently, an issue related to
luck
in our life is widely discussed among
people
over
Rephrase
all over
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the world,a lot of
people
believe that
luck
plays an important part in reaching their goals.
While others
Correct word choice
Others
show examples
argue that
diligence
, talent,
hard-working
Correct word choice
hard work
show examples
, and motivation are
also
nessarary
Correct your spelling
necessary
for achieving their aim. I strongly hold
on
Change preposition
apply
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that achieving their aim
is
Verb problem
does
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not rely on only
luck
.
To begin
with,
diligence
is always the most obvious way to
get
Verb problem
achieve
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success.
For instance
, Babar Azam is a famous cricket captain player in Pakistan who is very hard working.Joining the national cricket team
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
not easy for him. he was a ball boy in childhood in the stadium,
when
Correct word choice
and when
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he was a teen he joined the cricket academy and started working on his skills.,
Moreover
he did a part-time job
for paying
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to pay
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the institute fee.
as a result
, His
diligence
make a way for him what he dreamed for his life.
Secondly
, Talent
also
plays a vital role in achieving our aims.For ,example If someone
will
Verb problem
does
show examples
not have the confidence to act
in
Change preposition
with
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a bunch of
people
, how would he
get
Verb problem
achieve
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success in his life
.
Change the punctuation
?
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In addition
, Talent is
also
working to reach the goal is
such
diligence
. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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hand,some
people
believe that
luck
is more important than any other factor.
For example
, the child is born into a rich family so it means that he will have the opportunity to get a
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
standard of education than other
people
.and it will help him to achieve his aim.like if he wanted to be a doctor, and his family is so supportive and helped him to achieve the goal that he set.so it means that he is lucky that he got
such
a good supportive family because not everyone is lucky like him. In Conclusion.
Achieve
Wrong verb form
Achieving
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our aims is not only dependent on
luck
there are
also
other ways to get the success that we want.
Submitted by hameedsarmad03 on

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task response
Ensure a clear position on the issue of luck in achieving aims is stated and maintained throughout the essay. Develop arguments more consistently and provide a balanced evaluation of both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by using transitions to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Ensure there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure in the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • aims
  • determination
  • resilience
  • opportunities
  • effort
  • planning
  • unpredictability
  • innovation
  • perseverance
  • perception
  • sustainability
  • adaptation
  • networking
  • initiative
  • random chance
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