Some people believe that children are given 100 much free time. They feel har this time should be used to do more school work.How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #children #time #har #school #work

Children need free time to do various useful and fun activities but they feel under pressure which makes them feel bored due to their

parents

who think that significant of the academy.

Although

they want the best for their offspring,

parents

don't keep pace with the fast-developing world. they should allow their scion's wishes what they happy. it is very important for adolescents to go to the department. because they improve relationships with their friends. They do not only learn lessons as well as learn love, betrayal and friendship in the academy where there are many activities which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

being happy for children. But ,

unfortunately

Add a comma

,unfortunately

show examples

parents

do not see that side. they just want them to pass exams which makes them look successful ,actually true success is other things learning from the faculty.

On the other hand

, not only they should do fun activities in their free time but

also

they should improve financial literacy to build their future. if you don’t follow current trends in the financial system, you can just be the standard person in spite of learning in the school. in

this

competitive world, the information which is learned in school usually is not realistic. because they make you a slave of the system. To sum up, the offspring don’t live their childhood because of lessons.

parents

should improve themself for their children's future. as I said before, the quality of the hall should develop high levels and

also

the governments will be able to boost their quality of life of theirs. I believe that.

Submitted by ozbekibrahimcan on Mon Apr 25 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children are given 100 much free time. They feel har this time should be used to do more school work.How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the best way to run a business is within the family, while others find a family-run business unsuccessful. Discuss both opinions and present your own.