IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The key to solving environmental problems is for the present generation to sacrifice their convenient way of life for sake of future generations. Do you agree or this disagree with this statement?

#generation #sacrifice #life #sake #future #generations #disagree
These days, confronting
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
issues
 is a
Change to a genitive case
individual's
show examples
individuals
Change the noun form
individual
show examples
 moral
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
 in
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 world. There is a common belief that solving environmental problems is in charge of
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
generation
 to spend their life to save it for
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
generation
. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 many say that future
generation
 is responsible to protect it.
Although
 there are arguments on both sides, I strongly disagree that
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
generation
sacrifice
Change the verb form
sacrifices
show examples
 their convenient life for sake of
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
generation
. There are convincing arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of solving environmental
issues
 by
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
generation
.
Firstly
, they can try to be more environmentally friendly. Individuals who are living in
recent
Add an article
the recent
show examples
 era can
use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more renewable resources rather than non-renewable
because
Correct pronoun usage
ones because
show examples
 of saving
this
 energy for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
In other words
,
people
 could replace eco-friendly vehicles with petrol-driven cars. Take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electric vehicles as an example, cars will reduce to
use
fossil
Change preposition
of fossil
show examples
 fuels so that future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 will apparently utilize
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 as raw materials in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufacturing
other
Change preposition
of other
show examples
 items like plastic.
As a result
,
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
generation
 would be effective to remedy the environmental
issues
 and protect
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 with changing in their life way.
Secondly
,
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
generation
 can
use
 less harmful
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. If
people
use
 less harmful items which are led to environmental degradation, it will solve some environmental
issues
.
For instance
, farmers in developed countries have been utilizing heavy machinery like tractors to cultivate, resulting in soil erosion and compacting.
This
 method could be changed in order to solve some environmental
issues
.
However
, it is predicted that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 solving environmental problems by
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
generation
 will be done.
first
 and foremost, they will apparently present innovative and creative
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to confront
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental
issues
. Simply put, they would present innovative
approach
Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
show examples
 and invent cutting edge
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
 to solve environmental
issues
.
For example
,
next
people
 would invent the innovative method which
turn
Change the verb form
turns
show examples
 water into oil containing
less
Add an article
the less
a less
show examples
 harmful chemical
substance
Fix the agreement mistake
substances
show examples
.
In addition
, raising
next
generation
 awareness. these
people
 can
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
effective contribute to
solve
Change the verb form
solving
show examples
 environmental
issues
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they educate correctly.
For instance
,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educationa
Correct your spelling
educational
education
 institutions in Canada, are taking
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 aimed to raise young adults' awareness to prevent environmental degradation. In conclusion,
although
 the current
generation
 plays a crucial role to solve environmental
issues
,
Add a hyphen
next-generation
show examples
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
generation
 would contribute positively because of their new invention and awareness.
Submitted by shokoohghavami on

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