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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that getting a degree from univerity is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Angsa

In recent years, there has been an ongoing debate about whether a university degree or work
experience
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 is more important in securing a good job.
While
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 some argue that practical
experience
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 is more valuable, others believe that academic qualifications provide a better foundation for long-term success.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own view. On one hand, work
experience
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 is often considered more valuable by employers because it equips individuals with practical skills and a deep understanding of workplace dynamics. Experienced
employees
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 are usually more familiar with company regulations and require less training, allowing them to contribute effectively from day one. They can
also
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 apply knowledge gained from previous roles to solve real-world problems, which can be particularly beneficial in fast-paced or competitive industries.
Furthermore
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,
employees
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 who have already earned the trust of previous supervisors are likely to carry strong work ethics and a sense of responsibility.
On the other hand
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, a university degree provides individuals with theoretical knowledge and critical thinking skills that are essential in many professional fields. Graduates are often more adaptable and open to learning, especially in rapidly evolving industries
such
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 as technology or finance. They are usually up to date with the latest research, innovations, and best practices, which can give companies a competitive edge.
Moreover
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, fresh graduates tend to be more motivated and enthusiastic, which makes it easier for employers to
mold
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mould
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 them into ideal
employees
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. In my opinion, both education and
experience
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 play vital roles in professional success.
However
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, I believe that a university degree offers a stronger foundation, especially in the long run.
While
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experience
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 may give someone an early advantage, formal education ensures that
employees
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 are equipped with essential cognitive and problem-solving skills, making them better prepared to grow and adapt throughout their careers.

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph presents a balanced discussion of both views by adding more examples to illustrate the points made.
coherence and cohesion
When transitioning between paragraphs or ideas, consider using clear linking phrases to improve flow and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Strong introduction that clearly outlines the essay's purpose and structure.
task achievement
Well-defined arguments for both views, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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