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Band 5.5

Some people believe that money is the major source of happiness in life. do you strongly agree or disagree?

#people #money #source #happiness #life
Currently, a large part of
population
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the population
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 thinks that economic prosperity is the main key point of well-being. In my opinion,
this
 statement is fundamentally wrong, exposing my principal supporting statements nextly. Demanding
jobs
 are directly related to physical health problems and some of the most reach people have depressive conduct.
Firstly
, working as important CEO or even as a
well paid
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well-paid
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 worker would increase your probability of having major deseas. Stressing
jobs
, are normally, the
better paid
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better-paid
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 ones, implying a greater weight over your shoulders than working in a normal job. Due to it, is normal to suffer from different diseases generated from these tense
jobs
, reducing drastically your life expectancy with heart attack,
fatigating
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the fatigating
a fatigating
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 trend of living and other damages.
For example
, my father suffered from fatigue, high blood pressure and diabetes generally because of these
jobs
, being very exigent.
Additionally
, some psychological deseas can appear in a
susccessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 person. Mental health is not secured been a
wellpayd
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well-paid
well paid
 person, giving a sentiment of unfulfilled objective mainly to
millonaries
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millionaires
.
For instance
,
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worldwide
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world wide
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worldwide
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 there are multiples examples of supposedly
susccessful
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successful
 people that have
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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taken their own
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lives
life
life's
lifes
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lives
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 because of mental
deseas
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disease
 generated by fame and money and the anxiety that comes
with
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itwith
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. In conclusion, I think that money has a placebo effect that has been followed by mainly all the people nowadays. Meanwhile, it is evident that money does not bring happiness and,
by contrast
, it can harm happiness and be dramatically dangerous physically and mentally for a not prepared person.
Submitted by Kra0s22 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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