IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#argument #case #reader #specialist #topic #idea #career #fashion #careers #money #education #life #support #arguments #evidence
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As work is necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 our life, some people think that having one job is unfashionable, and they tend to have multiple
jobs
Use synonyms
 as well as keeping studying is more suitable in future. In my opinion, I firmly believe that having some different business and learning new
skills
Use synonyms
 is necessary.
To begin
Linking Words
 with some merits of multiple
jobs
Use synonyms
. Income from different
ways
Use synonyms
 become commonly seen and it helps us to avoid bad situations, losing
jobs
Use synonyms
 or becoming weak, it will be your backup.
For instance
Linking Words
, a friend of mine,
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
still
earning
Wrong verb form
earns
show examples
 money
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 disparate
ways
Use synonyms
, which are
stock
Correct article usage
the stock
show examples
 market and online store, when her company had closed due to covid-19.
In addition
Linking Words
, many super
idolls
Correct your spelling
idols
dolls
 own various
jobs
Use synonyms
 because they know that they can create more income from other
ways
Use synonyms
 avoid extra states and keep their wealth freely.
Thus
Linking Words
, developing more business is a valuable thing, it can be your backup
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if you get hurt or in some accidental situations. To speak with some benefits of learning new
skills
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, keeping studying and
acquire
Wrong verb form
acquiring
show examples
 new
skills
Use synonyms
 has become a popular choice in public.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a lot of individuals choose their hobbies as a
second
Linking Words
 job.
For example
Linking Words
, one of my classmates,
neil
Change the capitalization
Neil
nail
show examples
 art is her hobby. So she learned
skills
Use synonyms
 and taught students. After a few years, she established a
neil
Correct your spelling
nail
Neil
 art company
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 owns a
neil
Correct your spelling
nail
Neil
 art school.
Therefore
Linking Words
, keeping study is necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 the future. In conclusion, world development is fast.
Hence
Linking Words
, progressing multiple earning
ways
Use synonyms
 as well as studying new
skills
Use synonyms
 will be
advantageous
Add an article
an advantageous
the advantageous
show examples
 thing with no doubt, it helps people reinforce income and avoid harmful situations.
Submitted by Nikky on

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