Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished.   To what extent do you agree or disagree?  Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

there are some debations that what is the best behaviour in school involved with admission in which they experience more achievements in their assignments. some people argue that encouragement is more applicable than punishment.
This
essay
is
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apply
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totally
agreed
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agrees
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with that statement and will illustrate that pupils will feel more confident and less psychological disorders in the future if they
do
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are
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not
be
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under pressure.
To begin
with, the goal is the best future for our children and so instructions and guidance should be oriented on
this
road. Without any doubt, students, especially in primary and secondary education will feel more personal fulfilment and a sense of belonging to a group when they
give
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receive
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rewards from teachers compared to when they are faced with strict behaviour.
For example
, if my son does his assignments well, will be given a card as a bonus and
at the end
of the academic year,
is
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he will
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received
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receive
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a gift based on the cards by the headteacher. So I find him mostly cheerful and he finds him so talented and creative because he receives cards as a small bonus weekly and a mind game end of the year.
On the other hand
, obviously, punishment has a wide range of drawbacks and definitely, it is known as an unfavourable act. many students from all levels of studies
maybe
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may
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experience these behaviours and as an underlying repercussion, some negative feelings like depression, anxiety and embarrassment will appear
soonly
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soon
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.
As a result
, these students will probably
discourage
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be discouraged
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to continue
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from continuing
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their studies at higher levels of education and
could not
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overcome their lessons. In conclusion, I would say, of course, some undesirable treatments
such
as punishment have to be eliminated from the educational environment and the policy of both private and public schools must encourage children and youngsters to believe in their infinite abilities.
Submitted by z.sheikhnajdi on

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task response
Ensure that you address all aspects of the prompt and maintain a balanced discussion between the two views. Provide a clear and well-developed personal opinion as well.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more coherently. Use proper transition words to link your ideas and ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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