Each year, crime committed by young people is on the rise. What are the reasons? Suggest some solutions.

The phenomenon of a rising juvenile delinquency rate is of great concern to society, and both families and society are responsible for that.

Although

Linking Words

it is not easy to solve the problem, there are still several effective steps that can be imposed. There are various reasons which induce the situation, and two main aspects worth more concern. There is no doubt that

parents

Use synonyms

are accountable for that. Owing to the growing life cost,

parents

Use synonyms

are busy earning money.

That is

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to say, they lack adequate time to supervise their

children

Use synonyms

. Without adults'

companion

Replace the word

companionship

show examples

, it is extremely likely that

children

Use synonyms

mix with other disruptive kids and pick up bad behaviour. Another reason is that numerous TV programs and computer

games

Use synonyms

mislead young people. Because of the competition and reward pattern,

children

Use synonyms

are highly likely to be addicted to the

games

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

's obsession with violent computer

games

Use synonyms

is dangerous, for the

games

Use synonyms

are on a par with the best military technology in training kids to murder.

Also

Linking Words

, there is excessive violence in mass media. Teenagers are ignorant and immature.

As a result

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, with the inappropriate information, they easily go astray. To tackle the problem, efforts from

parents

Use synonyms

, schools and the government are required.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is of paramount importance that

parents

Use synonyms

spend more time with their kids and develop a sense of responsibility.

Secondly

Linking Words

, educators should pay more attention to

children

Use synonyms

's ethics and mental health. Since school is not a place just imparting knowledge, it

also

Linking Words

plays a dominant role in instilling high moral values.

Last

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but not least, it is of great urgency for authorities to censor TV programs and computer

games

Use synonyms

which are popular with young people, and violent content should be restricted as well To conclude,

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

juvenile delinquency, there are several reasons.

However

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, if

parents

Use synonyms

, schools and governments make efforts together, the situation would be addressed to some extent.

monicahe0211

Apr 26, 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Juvenile delinquency
Deprived
Inadequate
Disenfranchised
Marginalized
Crime prevention
Intervention
Rehabilitation
Youth outreach programs
Parental guidance
Employment opportunities
Community involvement
Counseling
Substance abuse
Criminal justice system

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Each year, crime committed by young people is on the rise. What are the reasons? Suggest some solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many teachers assign homework to students everyday. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students?

Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? Give reaons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.