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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Should the use of animals in circuses be banned? Do you agree ore disagree?

#animals #circuses #ore
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In society, it is undoubtedly the case that there are many
people
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 who pay attention to the question of whether should the use of
animals
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 in
circuses
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 be banned. Some
people
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 hold the view that
circuses
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 cannot make a profit from
animals
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 because they don’t know how will
people
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 train them to do the right activities.
However
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, the other
people
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 are interested in attending a performance, and
this
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 will offer the
circuses
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 a helping hand. I agree with the
first
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 opinion because of legal and
health
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 reasons.
Firstly
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,
people
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 may violate animal rights.
Secondly
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, we cannot guarantee
animals
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’ mental and physical
health
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. The
last
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 reason is
people
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 cannot put themselves in
animals
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’ shoes.
Firstly
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, it is illegal
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that
people
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 may be violating
animals
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’ rights. There are plenty of reasons why I hold
this
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 opinion. Lions, camels and zebras are wild
animals
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, which means they should have a broader space for their daily life rather than live in cages.
For example
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, some
circuses
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 always emphasize that they are travelling and avoid answering questions about
animals
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 living in cages. (Jackson, 2019). Some wildlife
animals
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 are forced to be captive-bred
animals
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. Jackson, the
people
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 keep an eye on all the
animals
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. She said that all
circuses
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animals
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 are part of the family, and all of the family members are captive-bred
animals
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. (Jackson, 2019).
Animals
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’ rights include the Animal
protection
Change the capitalization
Protection
show examples
Act
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 and Animal
Welfare
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Act
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. And
people
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 focus on freedom from cruelty rather than animal
welfare
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. Available scientific evidence shows that wild
animals
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 kept in captivity in
circuses
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 do not meet their best
welfare
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 requirements.
Circuses
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animals
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 do not have their own national
welfare
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 standards, and
this
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 causes
people
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 to pay more attention to protecting
animals
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 from cruelty. (Harris,2019& <<ADI>>, 2017). It is
thus
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 clearly shown that
people
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 may be violating the Animal Protection
Act
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 and the Animal
Welfare
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Act
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.
Furthermore
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, another factor should be considered is the
health
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 reason, we know that the physical and mental
health
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 of
animals
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 cannot be guaranteed in the
circuses
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. As far as the journalists are concerned, the ultimate goal of
circuses
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 is to get a profit. No matter how good a management policy the circus has，
people
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 are unable to meet the social and physical needs of wild
animals
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. While
circuses
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 pledge that
animals
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 are well cared for, the physical and mental
health
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 of circus
animals
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 is inevitably suffering damage. (<<ADI>>, 2017).
Animals
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 are
existsin
Correct your spelling
exists in
existing
 a bad mental state because of being kept in a restricted environment. In the wild, macaques live in groups, it is reported that even with regular interactions with their trainers, circus lions and macaques often show signs of severe boredom and frustration.(<<RSPCA>>, 2017).
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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