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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many students do not finish school. Why is this, and how can the problem be solved? School Drop-Outs: Problems and Solutions

#students #school #drop-outs
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Many
students
Use synonyms
 throughout the globe don't like
school
Use synonyms
 because they are forced to
study
Use synonyms
 hard by their teachers and parents.
This
Linking Words
 is a problem which is being talked up by some as a very serious threat because
students
Use synonyms
 aim just to pass the exams. but according to some
people
Use synonyms
, even if you
study
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 you will able to earn probably low salary in the current order.
Students
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 who
study
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 only for exams will not learn anything useful .
Firstly
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, most of the
students
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 forget
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of education and
in addition
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, studying
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 is very boring for them but each individual should try to improve yourself(
bunun
Change the capitalization
Bunun
show examples
yerine
Use synonyms
 which results in under-qualified in society.
In addition
Linking Words
, studying is usually a boring process but each
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
 has to go through it(içinden geçmek)). the best way for(to olacak) improve themself as cultural(culturally
Use synonyms
olucak
Correct your spelling
luck
 as yok) is by reading some books and
also
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(at the same time
Use synonyms
olucak
Correct your spelling
luck
also
Linking Words
yerine
Use synonyms
) if they read something, their communication skills will be better than
other part
Change the wording
another part
other parts
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 of the
people
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. when
i
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I
show examples
 was a kid, most
of
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
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 said to me(bu sonda olacak) 'you should complete the university
otherwise
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,
people
Use synonyms
 look at you badly’ to me.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 understood
this
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 sentence after(
bunun
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Bunun
show examples
yerine
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 when I grow up). because, I saw that the more cultured you are, the more your environment(surroundings
Use synonyms
olucak
Correct your spelling
luck
) will be shaped
accordingly
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they worry
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
(about
Use synonyms
olucak
Correct your spelling
luck
) their future in our country(today’s world
Use synonyms
olucak
Correct your spelling
luck
) because
,
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apply
show examples
 they don't usually earn enough money
although
Linking Words
 they completed the(graduate from) university.
For instance
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, some
of
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apply
show examples
Add an article
the student
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 will be an engineer but they will get the same money as
school
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 dropouts so they generally think that why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have to go
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school
Change preposition
to school
show examples
(
bunun
Change the capitalization
Bunun
show examples
yerine
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 can not see any reasons to go to
school
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
olucak
Correct your spelling
luck
).
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 partly agree with that statement because varies from person to person. To(in
Use synonyms
olucak
Correct your spelling
luck
) conclusion, while some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
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 will be
important
Add an article
an important
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the future by reading(studying
Use synonyms
olucak
Correct your spelling
luck
), other parts will be by not reading(reach(ulaşmak)
there by
Correct your spelling
thereby
show examples
 not studying). maybe they start a business and they give jobs to
people
Use synonyms
 who
study
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.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • drop out
  • completion
  • attendance
  • disengaged
  • disinterested
  • underprivileged
  • financial constraints
  • academic achievement
  • learning difficulties
  • negative peer influences
  • intimidation
  • accessibility
  • supportive environment
  • guidance
  • adolescent pregnancy
  • psychological well-being
What to do next:
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