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Band 4

The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important, and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#education #people #countries #adults #governments #money
The provision of funding and building structures to promote
adult
education
 should take utmost priority as against the
education
 of
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
generation
 by any
Government
.
This
 essay tends to discuss the merits and demerits of the
government
 focusing
and
Change preposition
on and
show examples
 developing
adult
education
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
against the younger
generation
.
Education
 is for all ages and should not be limited to the younger
generation
. One of the key merits of
adult
education
 is that it gives the older
generation
 a sense of belonging in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. As we are all aware,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is evolving with advanced technology daily and the only way to keep pace with what is happening in the world today is constant learning.
Therefore
, a society with more uneducated adults will give room for bad governance,
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
growth
Change preposition
in growth
show examples
 rate and mismanagement of resources.
In addition
, it is important for the
government
 to provide adequate structures and funding to promote
adult
education
 reason being leaders who can neither read nor write but occupy leadership positions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will hinder the
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
growth
 of any country.
As a result
, adults should be encouraged to keep learning at all
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 as it promotes creative thinking and
active
Correct article usage
an active
show examples
 mind. No country would experience any progressive
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
growth
 if the
policy makers
Correct your spelling
policymakers
show examples
, regulators or industry players are not able to make or take decisive actions. While educating the younger
generation
 should not be neglected as the saying goes “they are the leaders of tomorrow”
however
, their tomorrow can only be guaranteed where the leaders steering the wheels are constantly learning to be able to preserve the resources of the country for the younger
generation
. In conclusion, it is important that any
government
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 understands that educating adults is key to
growth
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 would provide adequate funding in setting up structures that would
supports
Change the verb form
support
show examples
adult
education
.
Submitted by Efepalmer250 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy programs
  • functional illiteracy
  • social mobility
  • inter-generational poverty
  • workforce development
  • economic growth
  • social cohesion
  • public health
  • civic participation
  • resource allocation
  • national development
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