Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

It is often believed by a number of experts that educatees might
be benefitted
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
from foreign student exchange programs. Controversy exists as to whether
this
trend is advantageous or is an impediment to society.
Although
there are some adverse ramifications related to
this
approach, I believe that the upside of
this
situation will outweigh the downside since it would provide a great chance to learn about a new culture and people. On the one hand, there are myriad points to agree with its meritorious side. The most important one is that students will get a chance to live in a different nation which will improve their knowledge about that terrain. To elucidate
further
,
this
will not only improve their communication skills but
also
give them
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ample opportunity to blend with
another culture
Fix the agreement mistake
other cultures
show examples
and their masses. A survey conducted by ILO in 2015 in the UK,
for instance
, revealed that on average, 90% of the students who attended foreign exchange programs think it was a
once in a lifetime
Add a hyphen
once-in-a-lifetime
show examples
experience for them
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
this
approach played a great role
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
Shine in life.
Apart from
this
, pupils would have to live without their parents which would help them how to live on a budget.
Moreover
, they will have to Carry themselves by earning money which would teach them the importance of money and they will not waste it recklessly.
By contrast
, it is predicted that the thorns of
this
trend cannot be neglected. The most worrying object is that they might suffer from homesickness. To decipher, living away from
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
might affect their education as they feel nostalgic about their homes all the time and can not concentrate on their studies.
Besides
this
, it might cost a certain amount of expenses in order to go to aboard for study.
For example
, if a teenager has to go to a different country, it would take money to carry the plane fare and other expenses. which might affect the family condition of that student. So it is inevitable that there are some negative Consequences which might hamper the students' growth in the long run. In conclusion,
this
critique elucidates both the virtues and hiccups of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign student exchange programs. Despite that pupils might be affected by homesickness, they would get a chance to live an independent life with a new bunch of people in a foreign nation which could be effective for both their education and corporate lives.
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Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
Expand on the introduction by providing a more thorough overview of the topic and providing a clear thesis statement.
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Word Count

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educationalists
  • international exchange visits
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • outweigh
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • school
  • exposes
  • different cultures
  • perspectives
  • enhances
  • language skills
  • promotes
  • independence
  • self-confidence
  • builds
  • lifelong friendships
  • provides
  • unique learning experiences
  • expensive
  • homesickness
  • emotional distress
  • careful planning
  • logistical arrangements
  • disrupt
  • academic progress
  • safety
  • security risks
  • cultural appropriation
  • misunderstandings
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