There are an increasing number of advertisements that target children. Many parents are worried that these advertisements may be harmful to their children. However, some companies claim that their advertising provides children with useful information. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Advertisements
are now
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
important commercial tools for companies to prompt their
products
, especially, some of them are aimed at
children
.
This
phenomenon is of great concern for parents,
although
the companies claim that there is some valuable information in commercial messages. It can not be denied that to prompt
products
, advertisers use a wide range of information to explain their
products
.
Accordingly
, viewers can acquire knowledge through that.
For example
, to attract
children
's attention,
advertisements
may display the process of manufacturing the
products
through an interesting method,
such
as
cartoon
Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons
show examples
. In
this
case,
children
have access to a totally unusual sence, which can
broden
Correct your spelling
broaden
their horizons. Since
advertisements
carry a large array of materials which are different from our daily life, it is significant to encourage
children
's creativity, curiosity and critical thinking.
On the other hand
, advertising commercials which target
children
commonly assert adverse impacts on
children
. To illustrate,
advertisements
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
electronic
games
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
universal.
As a result
of curiosity,
children
are highly likely to be lured and gradually get addicted to them.
Consequently
,
children
may sacrifice their study time or even sleep time to play
games
.
Thus
, the obsession with those
games
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
harmful to
children
's physical and mental health. Another example is that some
advertisements
prompt snacks to
children
who can hardly resist
such
Correct article usage
an attempt
show examples
attempt
Fix the agreement mistake
attempts
show examples
.
Therefore
, they would pester their parents to buy the goods which are
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
good
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their health. In my opinion, I accept that some
advertisements
contain educational information.
Howerer
Correct your spelling
However
, there are more advertising commercials
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
allure
children
to buy unhealthy food or play
games
which they tend to obsess with.
Consequently
, it is suggested that the governments censor the
advertisements
which are aimed at
children
.
Submitted by monicahe0211 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: