Task1: The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.

Task1: The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.
The given diagrams illustrate the life cycle of salmons, a large species of fish.
Overall
, it is noticeable there are a total of three stages in
this
life cycle, commencing with the egg
stage
and ending with the adult
stage
. In the first
stage
, the salmon's life cycle begins with the hatching of eggs. These salmon eggs are laid amongst the reeds and small stones in the upper
river
. It is notable that
this
part of the
river
is slow-moving. In
this
stage
, after a period of about five to six months, the baby fish that are born are called fry and are about three to eight long. The fry swims from the lower
river
to fast flowing. In the
second
stage
, after Living in
this
lower
river
for a period of about four years, the fry gradually grows into a smolt when it measures about 12 to 15 cm in length.
Following
this
stage
, it is ready to migrate into the open sea which
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
smolt for roughly about 5 years.
After
this
stage
has been completed, the adult
stage
is approximately 70 to 76 cm long.
Finally
, the adult fish swim back to the same location where they were born.
Submitted by bphonporton on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words stage, river with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Life cycle
  • Spawning
  • Freshwater
  • Juvenile
  • Fry
  • Adaptation
  • Migration
  • Smolt
  • Rivers
  • Ocean
  • Challenge
  • Growth
  • Return journey
  • Hatching ground
  • Perilous
  • Upstream
  • Obstacle
  • Ecological impact
  • Preservation
  • Disturbance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: