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Writing Samples
Band 4

Young people are often under the strong influence of peer pressure. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

#people #influence #peer #pressure #outweigh
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Due to
Linking Words
 the limited resources and evolution of the human race,
competition
Use synonyms
 is at its peak in every sector. Educationalists and parents feel that students are undergoing continuous stress with an aim to excel from their fellow friends. There are minuscule deleterious impacts of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon which insists on saying that the
competition
Use synonyms
 is beneficial. These days, teenagers are under constant pressure to outperform in their fraternity which instills/equips them with enough zeal. Who is not under pressure? Every job has challenges. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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example, every profession, be it a doctor, politician, or engineer wants to outcast others in their respective fields by outstanding performance. A healthy
competition
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 breeds motivation and keeps the members motivated in an association. Teenagers can learn how to manage stress and overcome it to achieve resilience. It is evident by the whitepapers published by the
ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
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 of
education
Capitalize word
Education
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, which claims that annual competitions among different schools are healthy and promote a voracious urge for excellent results.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, a substantial substratum of society is worried about
by-product
Fix the agreement mistake
by-products
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,
that is
Linking Words
, depression which culminates in suicides. Indeed, it is concerning and clear from the data published by the health department, which points to alarming figures of suicide among people in their 20s.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, psychiatrists have reported an increased number of cognitive
behavior
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behaviour
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 and mental health, duress of under-performance in studies. Ultimately it leads to total withdrawal of a child from studies,
whereas
Linking Words
 without stress, they could have fairly performed. To recapitulate,
while
Linking Words
 some embrace
this
Linking Words
 spirit, but
on the contrary
Linking Words
, others are in denial. Though
the
Correct article usage
apply
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suicide cases are rising, counselors are
out
Rephrase
apply
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ruling
competition
Use synonyms
to be
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is
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 its prime reason which insists on mentioning that the benefits of peer pressure nip its harmful effects by huge numbers.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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