IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #cultures #ages
It is believed that
music
 is one of the great methods to gather people from various cultures and ages.Personally, I firmly agree with
this
 statement and
this
 essay will provide some reasons ,
also
 my perspective.
To begin
 with, fans who prefer a specific type of
music
 or a particular band usually form a community to communicate with others worldwide, in order to support the artists or share their opinions.
For example
, individuals who are passionate about K-Pop bands have created a group chat on online platforms
such
 as Instagram and Snapchat to meet up at the concert tour across the sea.
As a result
, they have an opportunity to experience traditions in different countries.
Moreover
, traditional
music
 is able to attract all age groups listeners.Young to old generations tend to interact with others to support the artist when it comes to a well-known trend in the country due to appreciation of their birthplace traditions.To give an instance, in Thailand, a report has shown that 80% of citizens between 12 and 78 years old recently have interacted on an application and came together to vote for a singer from Thailand in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
competition with foreign singers. In conclusion, I consider that
music
 can gather people around the globe and allow people of
wide
Add an article
a wide
the wide
show examples
 range of ages to interact with others.The reasons for these actions are the like in a specific
music
 type or band and the feeling of appreciation in birthplace cultures.
Submitted by pppppp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: