Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion
Contemporary
society
is known as the era of capitalisation. From Use synonyms
this
aspect, discussions about whether Linking Words
contribution
of Add an article
the contribution
society
is more Use synonyms
significance
for Replace the word
significant
success
compared to Use synonyms
earn
plenty of income are raised. In my opinion, capital is more important rather than fame for Wrong verb form
earning
success
.
Evidently, money is one of the main resources that allows Use synonyms
population
to spend their lives with basic living quality, which is strongly related to Add an article
the population
a population
successful
life. To exemplify, human being demands food, clothing, and shelter, which are the necessities of life. Add an article
a successful
Individuals
might not be able to sustain their satisfactory livesUse synonyms
,
if those factors are not adequately met. What is more, modern Remove the comma
apply
society
is overly competitive and accelerates as the years go by year. Use synonyms
Thus
, to be successful, Linking Words
individuals
need to invest Use synonyms
themselves
Change preposition
in themselves
such
as study and Linking Words
have
more experiences which are required a lot of Wrong verb form
having
expenditures
.
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditure
Nevertheless
, some Linking Words
individuals
believe that even if they have enormous money, they are not successful unless they are the public who make contributions to Use synonyms
society
Use synonyms
such
as scientists, presidents, and police officers. The Linking Words
individuals
, who work in Use synonyms
this
area, are usually respected by the local and children want to be like them, that are one of the evidence of Linking Words
success
. When Use synonyms
individuals
receive respect Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
sake
of their hard work, they feel proud, Add an article
the sake
fulfilled
so that their quality of life improves.
To sum up, Correct word choice
and fulfilled
standard
of Add an article
the standard
success
depends on how the population feel or Use synonyms
believe
, as Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
this
essay illustrates two different groups. Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
although
Linking Words
individuals
keep contributing Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
society
, if they earn less income from their work compared to the others, it would be tough to live in Use synonyms
competitive
Add an article
a competitive
the competitive
society
.Use synonyms
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite