IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In some countries more and more people are becoming interested in finding out bout the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

#countries #people #bout #history #house #research
Historical literature has been gaining attention in many societies.
Though
Correct word choice
However
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 in some regions, there is a growing number of individuals who are becoming curious about knowing about the history of the place where they live. People want to reach some goals by doing
this
,
however
,
this
 is a hard task to achieve. There may be several reasons why someone should explore the past years of their house.
Firstly
, it has been considered leisure for many individuals, especially in the UK.
For example
, those who live in an old building that has been refurbished a number of times are the most interested in learning about its past. More importantly, some old houses that once
have been hosting
Wrong verb form
hosted
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 a famous author or a public figure could get the public attention, so they can become a source of income for the owner.
Likewise
,
homes
Correct article usage
the homes
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 that well-known barons and saints
had been living
Wrong verb form
lived
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 there a long time before
until
Correct word choice
apply
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they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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died, so they
attract
Wrong verb form
attracted
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 a few visitors these days. As for the ways that someone could find out about the history of a place, there are only a few resources available. One way is to seek out the remaining documents regarding the information related to that place.
For instance
, archived newspapers and phonebooks
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may be still present in some libraries.
Besides
, trying to directly ask the prior owners about their ancestors to find out who was the first owner.
Such
 as looking at families' old pictures and their possible documents. In summary, the curiosity of people and seeing the history of their house as a leisure activity are the main reasons why someone may seek the past of their living area.
Although
 it is quite hard to achieve, there are a few resources available in the libraries, which could help them to pursue their aim.
Submitted by amirreza.alise on

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improvement
Task Response: The essay addresses the reasons why people are interested in knowing the history of their houses and suggests ways to research this. However, the introduction lacks clarity and coherence, as it does not clearly present the main idea of the essay. The conclusion is weak and does not effectively summarize the main points. More specific examples and explanations could be provided to enhance task response.
improvement
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a logical structure and the main points are supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction and conclusion could be improved to better introduce and conclude the essay. Additionally, the transition between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the overall coherence.
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