IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Each year, crime committed by young people is on the rise. What are the reasons? Suggest some solutions.

#year #crime #people #rise
Nowadays, youth are most vulnerable to being affected by bad surroundings according to a survey conducted by the University of California. In accordance to the survey, more adolescents are committing
crimes
 these days.
This
 essay articulates the possible causes for it and
also
 provides what solutions can be implemented to ameliorate these problems.
Firstly
,
to begin
 ,with the cause of these
crimes
 by youth, nowadays young people prefer to watch online movies or series on various online streaming platforms, which are not suitable for their age. Because of
such
content
, which includes murders, sexual
content
 and other forms of infamous activities, eventually entices them to carry out illegal activities in real life.
However
, they are not aware that
such
 shows are well scripted before committing the crime.
Secondly
, in some nations due to being financially unstable , they are forced to commit
crimes
, because they think it's the only option to provide money for their family members. To elucidate more about
this
, in the United States due to abject poverty in some states children are forced to steal money or earn money via drug smuggling. In order to solve these aforementioned problems,
firstly
, parents can impose more restrictions on
such
 type of
content
. Modern platforms like Netflix and Amazon prime provide an option of parental controls that allow parents to restrict mature
content
 to be watched by their children.
For example
 in a survey carried out by Netflix in 2015, fewer children from India watched the adult
content
 resulting in a lesser number of
crimes
 found from the latest crime records provided by Indian police in the same year.
Secondly
, in order to tackle poverty government should provide financial aid to these families, thereby providing a stable income for them. With an increase in income, psychological these youth may move away from criminal activities and focus more on education. To conclude, proper financial aid provided by the government and restricting some adult
content
 may eventually ameliorate the issue of an increase in
crimes
.
Submitted by vedang.parasnis921 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Juvenile delinquency
  • Deprived
  • Inadequate
  • Disenfranchised
  • Marginalized
  • Crime prevention
  • Intervention
  • Rehabilitation
  • Youth outreach programs
  • Parental guidance
  • Employment opportunities
  • Community involvement
  • Counseling
  • Substance abuse
  • Criminal justice system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: