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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugars #health #people #sugar
Today high levels of
sugar
 are contained in many sources of
food
, especially in manufactured
food
 And of course, eating so much
sugar
 is not good for our health it can cause just a simple cavy,
for example
, but
also
 worse problems, like the increasing level of
sugar
 in
blood
Add an article
the blood
show examples
. Some
people
 suggest that sugary products should be more expensive, so
people
 would buy less of them. According to me. think that
this
 solution is not the best one as sugary products include some types of
food
 that we eat
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
,
such
 as bread or pasta.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 foods, particularly the
first
 one, are really important in our diet, so
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 them more expensive will influence not only our lifestyle
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 some
people
 wouldn't be able anymore to buy the most important
food
 for them. Just think
for example
 to poor
people
, who can maybe afford a few loads of bread per day what would they cat if we increased
bread
Correct article usage
the bread
show examples
 price? I think that the best solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 problem would be informing
people
 about what they eat
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because sometimes we don't even know that. They have already done something to inform
people
 about the characteristics of
food
, of course, and
lebels
Correct your spelling
labels
levels
 are one of the most important
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
, as they tell you all the ingredients of a particular
food
. Yet, not many
people
 spend some of their time reading
lebels
Correct your spelling
labels
, or, if they do it, they probably don't know the biggest part of the substances named in the list, as well not everybody knows that there is a specific order of the ingredients in the list. So something we could do is
organizing
Wrong verb form
organise
show examples
 some "talks" to inform
people
 not only about the function of
lebels
Correct your spelling
labels
levels
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but especially about the big amount of
sugar
 we eat
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. I think as well that
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 talks should be organised
also
 in schools, because
also
 children must be aware of what they eat,
besides
, children can tell what they have learned
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 these conferences
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their parents, so the whole family would eat better. To sum it up. think that it is not necessary to increase the prices of sugary
food
 and that all we need is information, that will lead
people
 to eat less sugary
food
 and as a consequence, live better with
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 problems.
Submitted by akshat1097 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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