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Band 3

While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion?

#prison #place #criminals
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people believe that guilty people should confine to jail for their crime , others corroborate
another ways
Replace the adjective
another way
other ways
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is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
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 possible. I think both of them might be a solution
cause
Correct word choice
because
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any
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
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may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
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 has a solution
besides
 for the serious crimes, jail is necessary. Let`s clinch an
arguments
Correct the article-noun agreement
argument
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. In the
first
 instance, in my opinion, many guilty people
has
Change the verb form
have
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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psychological and sociological
problems
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problem
show examples
 which
depends
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depend
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 on family , environment and childhood state. They are in trouble with
inability
Add an article
the inability
an inability
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 to distinguish good from bad or they have
Correct article usage
a problem
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 with control of
nervous
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the nervous
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 system as if
fit
Add an article
the fit
a fit
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 of hysterics sometimes leads to
Correct your spelling
attract
attack
attach
attact
Correct article usage
an attact
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somebody
Change preposition
on somebody
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. If we are thinking about burglary we might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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say that it can be
disease
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a disease
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. Due to
these
Change the determiner
this reason
these reasons
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reason
Add a comma
,reason
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 I suggest they can be
healtied
Correct your spelling
healed
healthier
heated
.
Altough
Correct your spelling
Although
this
 is not to say that they couldn`t be in prison. Criminal might be curable in a gaol
otherwise
 that wouldn`t
this
Add a missing verb
be this
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. Following
this
, there are
such
 crimes that the only solution has to be life imprisonment like rape , homicide ,genocide etc. I`m sure everybody agrees with these points , it's pointless to forgive those who did
this
.
As a result
, governments can find
Add an article
a
show examples
resolution
Fix the agreement mistake
resolutions
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 which
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 more than deserve alternative ways from the others. It could be made legal regulations at least it might practice implemented by experts.
Submitted by b.safakozel on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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