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Band 4.5

The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#internet #access #information
In
this
 modern society, there is one section of people
prefers
Correct pronoun usage
who prefers
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 to teach
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young
persons
Replace the word
people
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 how to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsible
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
. For me,
this
 is very early to ask them to think
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the
parent
's role. I think tutoring on
perantal
Correct your spelling
parental
 activities to
such
 younger students will be in vain. Their thoughts are already filled with many
diversed
Correct your spelling
diverse
 activities like socializing, studying and many
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
. At
this
 time, adding
this
 completely different topic to them,
instead
 of giving positive results,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may turn
to
Change preposition
into
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negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
. They may get confused
with
Change preposition
about
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, what should they focus on as their brains are still not reached
to
Change preposition
apply
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a state to understand what these parental actions are, and
this
 may spoil their
acadamics
Correct your spelling
academics
.In fact,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 recent study conducted by
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
 Family Welfare Institute, reveals that the students who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been taught to become real
parent
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 has shown negative effects on their mental skills. The parental activities should be very balanced. To become
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best
parent
 in the
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
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 of children,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is pampering them. But as a
parent
, we should teach them the morals and ethics, which are very vital to maintain the
hormony
Correct your spelling
harmony
 in the society.
In addition
 to
this
, irrespective of how busy you are, there should be some amount of time dedicated to the family.
This
 time will help you to understand better
about
Change preposition
apply
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everyone in the family and you can guide them
Correct your spelling
in case
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incase
Correct your spelling
in case
show examples
 of any difficulties they are facing in their roles. In
conclustion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, It is advisable not to add any parental subjects
on
Change preposition
to
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 younger students
which
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 they cannot cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with the mindset they have at
this
 moment.
Submitted by nagesh.dnr on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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