Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money and the moneycould be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #olympic #games #events #nations #olympics #waste #money #moneycould

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some individuals believe that the Olympic games are international events bringing other

countries

to enjoy the festival,

while

others consider that

money

should be invested in other things

instead

of holding the

Olympics

This

writer argues that the Olympic games help maintain peace in the world and enhance the relationships of other

countries

rather than removing festivals to spend

money

on other things. It must be recognized that the

Olympics

is an occasion that gathers all players in every nation together and gains victory for their

countries

. It can help higher priorities in each country maintain tranquillity with others because the

Olympics

also

a special occasion that makes peace between

countries

that have little conflict and prevents the outbreaking of war.

Moreover

, war affects a lot of

people

's lives and finances.

Therefore

, the

Olympics

should be held to avoid

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bad results for these nations.

However

, other individuals believe that the

Olympics

should be removed and

money

should be invested in facilities for homeless

people

This

belief is based on nowadays life that the cost of living is too high that poor

people

become poorer because they cannot afford standard demand in society.

For

this

reason, others say that

money

should be spent on difficult situations to enhance the country's potential.

Moreover

, It can

also

solve some social tensions and problems

such

as crimes, and drug dealers,.. by reducing the cost of living so that

people

can live easily.

This

writer believes that avoiding wars in the world is necessary.

This

due to

the fact that war just brings trauma and misery for soldiers and waste in finance because of weapons investment.

Therefore

, the

Olympics

should be

remained

Correct your spelling

retained

show examples

and invested to become a better place for other nations to show their competitive spirit.

To sum up

, maintaining peace and enhancing relationships are essential points that need to be considered.

Therefore

, it should have been shown that governments must prioritise the world's problems as considered ones.

Tue Jun 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To enhance your essay, it's essential to include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This could involve citing historical or contemporary instances where the Olympics have either fostered international peace or been criticized for their costs.

coherence and cohesion

While your essay is generally well-structured, working on the flow and connection between ideas can improve coherence and cohesion. Using more transitional phrases and ensuring each paragraph smoothly leads to the next can make your argument more compelling.

general

There are minor grammatical errors and stylistic issues that need to be addressed. For instance, phrases like 'outbreaking of war' should be corrected to 'outbreak of war.' Making sure your language is precise and formal will improve your essay's clarity and impact.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.

task achievement

Your essay directly addresses the prompt and provides a balanced discussion of both views.

coherence and cohesion

The main points are logically presented and well-supported, although additional evidence would strengthen them further.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

327 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people believe that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opion.
In recent years, movies and TV programmes are become and become popular with the spread over the world therefore, some individuals think that importing foreign films are quite good for coutry culture whereas some others believe supporting to produce these locally. The writer of this essay assume the foreign movies can bring a lot of better cultural values then, persuading the citizens to donate local film to make producers get more moltivation to produce and compete with others
7
band
Write a letter to your colleague asking for help in setting up the equipment for your presentation. In your letter, you should: tell when and where the presentation will take place describe your arrangements tell him/her what equipment you need.
I am writing this letter to ask you for a favor next week. I am going to do a presentation in a nearby city to your home in an auditorium and, I have to install some essential equipment to deliver my lecture. I am mentioning the details of the presentation: Johnson Hall, Block A, Date: 14th September 2024, Owen Sound City.
<4
band
In what ways can tourism contribute to the preservation and protection of natural landscapes?
From my perspective, I believe that tourism is a great way to increase appreciation and respect for nature.
<4
band
Movies with spectacular car chases are a thrill to watch and fun too but they have led to an increase in car accidents on urban roads. Do you agree? What do you think can be done to make the youth more aware of road safety?
The given pie charts illustrate five different major sources namely : oil natural gas coal hydroelectric power in 1980and1990
5
band
In many parts of the world and throughout the history,governments have moved their capitals.Discuss potential problems and benefits?Say whether you would be in favor of moving your capital?
Whenever the governments propose a new capital, it leads to controversy. Some assert that it is beneficial to have a new capital, whereas the opponents of this idea advocate the existing location. Personally, I find the concept of shifting the capital region to be absurd due to various reasons, and I am unfavourable to it. On the one hand, the state will be considered unstable, and the prospects of several establishments in this region might have a negative impact. On the other hand, with a change of capital, development can be extended to other regions as well.

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money and the moneycould be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opion.

Write a letter to your colleague asking for help in setting up the equipment for your presentation. In your letter, you should: tell when and where the presentation will take place describe your arrangements tell him/her what equipment you need.

In what ways can tourism contribute to the preservation and protection of natural landscapes?

Movies with spectacular car chases are a thrill to watch and fun too but they have led to an increase in car accidents on urban roads. Do you agree? What do you think can be done to make the youth more aware of road safety?

In many parts of the world and throughout the history,governments have moved their capitals.Discuss potential problems and benefits?Say whether you would be in favor of moving your capital?