Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money and the moneycould be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #olympic #games #events #nations #olympics #waste #money #moneycould

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some individuals believe that the Olympic games are international events bringing other

countries

Use synonyms

to enjoy the festival,

while

Linking Words

others consider that

money

Use synonyms

should be invested in other things

instead

Linking Words

of holding the

Olympics

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

writer argues that the Olympic games help maintain peace in the world and enhance the relationships of other

countries

Use synonyms

rather than removing festivals to spend

money

Use synonyms

on other things. It must be recognized that the

Olympics

Use synonyms

is an occasion that gathers all players in every nation together and gains victory for their

countries

Use synonyms

. It can help higher priorities in each country maintain tranquillity with others because the

Olympics

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

a special occasion that makes peace between

countries

Use synonyms

that have little conflict and prevents the outbreaking of war.

Moreover

Linking Words

, war affects a lot of

people

Use synonyms

's lives and finances.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the

Olympics

Use synonyms

should be held to avoid

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bad results for these nations.

However

Linking Words

, other individuals believe that the

Olympics

Use synonyms

should be removed and

money

Use synonyms

should be invested in facilities for homeless

people

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

belief is based on nowadays life that the cost of living is too high that poor

people

Use synonyms

become poorer because they cannot afford standard demand in society.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, others say that

money

Use synonyms

should be spent on difficult situations to enhance the country's potential.

Moreover

Linking Words

, It can

also

Linking Words

solve some social tensions and problems

such

Linking Words

as crimes, and drug dealers,.. by reducing the cost of living so that

people

Use synonyms

can live easily.

This

Linking Words

writer believes that avoiding wars in the world is necessary.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that war just brings trauma and misery for soldiers and waste in finance because of weapons investment.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the

Olympics

Use synonyms

should be

remained

Correct your spelling

retained

show examples

and invested to become a better place for other nations to show their competitive spirit.

To sum up

Linking Words

, maintaining peace and enhancing relationships are essential points that need to be considered.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it should have been shown that governments must prioritise the world's problems as considered ones.

Tue Jun 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To enhance your essay, it's essential to include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This could involve citing historical or contemporary instances where the Olympics have either fostered international peace or been criticized for their costs.

coherence and cohesion

While your essay is generally well-structured, working on the flow and connection between ideas can improve coherence and cohesion. Using more transitional phrases and ensuring each paragraph smoothly leads to the next can make your argument more compelling.

general

There are minor grammatical errors and stylistic issues that need to be addressed. For instance, phrases like 'outbreaking of war' should be corrected to 'outbreak of war.' Making sure your language is precise and formal will improve your essay's clarity and impact.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.

task achievement

Your essay directly addresses the prompt and provides a balanced discussion of both views.

coherence and cohesion

The main points are logically presented and well-supported, although additional evidence would strengthen them further.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

327 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
it is true that individuals are having their first child at an older age. There are various reasons for this, and it brings about many more drawbacks to society.
6.5
band
Some think newspapers are the best method for reading the news while others think other media is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Although, certain segments of society think that reading news from papers is more convenient for us. However, I agree with people who prefer media because accessing the news through media is easier and not dependent on most conditions.
6
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
It has become increasingly common for businesses to promote their products by highlighting something new than other ones in commercials to attract consumers to buy nowadays. In the paragraphs below, I will demonstrate the cause of such a phenomenon and express my ideas about it.
8
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience
In our modern day and age, academic excellence in school is an important key to ensuring better chances for tertiary education and future jobs. Some parents want their children to focus on essential academic subjects rather than sports and life skills classes. I believe that young people need a balanced education to help them succeed in their future lives.
7.5
band
Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of the modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in.
In this day and age, it is thought that individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society and some individuals think that people must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community to create a better world in order to live in. I partly agree with the statement, and reasons for my viewpoint will be mentioned in this essay.

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money and the moneycould be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some think newspapers are the best method for reading the news while others think other media is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of the modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in.