IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #computers #basis #world #classrooms #programs #purposes #dependence #risk #students
Computers
 have fundamentally changed our lives and more and more people feel that modern appliances are required in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational establishments for studying, whilst others do not support
this
 idea. In
this
 essay. I will discuss both points of view and express my own opinion on the matter.
Firstly
, I will explore the positives of students using technologies and
secondly
, I will discuss why we need to avoid using them. On one hand, progress has given us many opportunities to study and succeed.
Also
, it is challenging to imagine the way we get an education without
computers
, as it has been transformed and now it is more comfortable to learn something nowadays.
For instance
, it required many days to find important information in ancient times, but today we need five or ten seconds to google it.
Furthermore
, the quality of knowledge and skills which are given by modern technologies is high,
that is
 why our world is developing so fast.
Consequently
, every single university tries to use
computers
 for teaching purposes.
On the other hand
, each computer is much more powerful than a human's brain and it makes us everything
instead
 of us when we need to count
while
 studying math or find some information on the internet.
Moreover
, a student relies on technology so much even if he needs to
make
Verb problem
do
show examples
 homework or study mandatory subjects,
such
 as chemistry or physics.
As a result
 of
this
, the youth becomes helpless without their MacBooks or iPads. On top of that, our memory suffers
due to
many
Correct article usage
the many
show examples
 hours spent in front of a display. The experts believe, that searching for any type of information on the internet affects our skills to memorize negatively and we may suffer from Alzheimer's in the future. In conclusion, there are many both
positives
Fix the agreement mistake
positive
show examples
 and
negatives
Fix the agreement mistake
negative
show examples
 effects brought by the creation of
computers
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young students during the period of their studying. From my point of view, there should be a balance between real education and working with a technic.
Submitted by ruslanabbosovich on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to address both sides of the argument in more detail and provide a more balanced view of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion by clearly stating your position and summarizing the main points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: