IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

#countries #people #age #jobs #measures
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Getting a well-paid position for
people
Use synonyms
 over 50 has been a cause of concern for some time.
Although
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 these
people
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 have extensive experience, employers often do not wish to hire them.
This
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 seems to be clear that
this
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 development has specific
problems
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, which need to be resolved in the nearest future.
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First
Change the article
The first
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 problem, which seems to me to be the most important one, is that too often highly skilled workers in their 50s and 60s suffer from discrimination because they have, as it is usually said, too much experience and
knowledge
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. Managers understand that these features have to be appreciated more by some benefits like
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
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 salary or more
attention
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 and are not ready for
this
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.
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Second
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The second
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 reason is that for old
people
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 using innovative technologies during their work is not a rose garden. Lack of
knowledge
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 in digital literacy can cause
problems
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 in fulfilling some tasks in our digitalized world. These
problems
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 can be solved easily if to pay a little more
attention
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 to them and here are my suggestions
what
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on what
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 is needed to be done.
First
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 of all,
government
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the government
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 can implement some benefits for companies which are hiring
people
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 aged over 50 like reducing tax or customs fees so that companies will be interested to have workers in their 50s or 60s.
Secondly
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,
government
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the government
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 in cooperation with some universities or colleges
,
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apply
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 can offer elderly
people
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 to take free courses in the sphere of
technologies
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technology
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.
Therefore
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people
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 aged over 50 will be interested in improving their
knowledge
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, universities and colleges will get more students and companies will not face
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 problem of lacking digital literacy in
people
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 in their 50s or 60s. In conclusion, most of
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problems
Add an article
the problems
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 concerning
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 unemployment level of
people
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 over 50 can be resolved through
applying
Add the preposition
forapplying
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 benefits from the government and resolving the problem of lacking
of
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apply
show examples
digital literacy.
This
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 issue needs more
attention
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 from the society
thus
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an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 extensive experience and
knowledge
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 of
this
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 group of
people
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 will receive deserved
attention
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.
Submitted by liliya.krysovata on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • age discrimination
  • bias
  • stereotype
  • tech-savvy
  • adaptable
  • retraining
  • upskilling
  • employment regulations
  • job options
What to do next:
Look at other essays: