IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, While others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#companies #sponsor #sports #people
Nowadays, we are exposed to various kinds of advertisements in which sponsoring
sports
 is an important method. The public holds different views on
sponsorship
. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, only if the authorities take responsible to censor the advertisements heavily. The opponents may believe that
sponsorship
 exerts a negative impact since the products that are displayed perhaps would not be beneficial to health. To acquire more
sponsorship
, the teams tend to allow companies which are willing to afford a higher price to gain the opportunity of displaying their products. In
this
 case, some goods which are detrimental to health,
such
 as Coca Cola, are likely to be shown to the audience among which some are children, and children are so ignorant that can easily be allured. They may pester their parents to buy the advertised goods which are thought to be healthy,
although
 it is not the truth. The argument in favour of
sponsorship
 would be that
sports
 activities are worth being prompted to encourage the public’s participation in exercise, and
sponsorship
 provides the necessary funds. Today, most people live a sedentary lifestyle which leads to a series of diseases.
Therefore
, it is of great urgency to arouse individuals’ interest in doing exercise.
However
, holding a campaign requires a large amount of money in renting a professional field and employing related staff. Under
this
 situation, without
sponsorship
sports
 events can hardly
Change the verb form
be held
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be hold
Correct your spelling
behold
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 frequently since the revenue from admission tickets cannot cover the huge expense. Lacking ample events,
sports
 can hardly attract the public’s attention and stimulate them to exercise. In my opinion, taking the positive influence into account,
sports
 events are worth sufficient capital from enterprises.
In addition
, it is strongly recommended that the governments heavily regulate the advertisements and prevent unhealthy goods from being displayed.
Submitted by monicahe0211 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sports sponsorship
  • financial support
  • athletes
  • brand visibility
  • awareness
  • commercialization
  • integrity
  • dependencies
  • corporate funds
  • unethical practices
  • strategic partnerships
  • communal relations
  • promote healthy lifestyles
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