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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree?

#society #ban #forms #purpose
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Today, it comes as no surprise that
advertisements
Use synonyms
 can be seen everywhere, from banners being hung up on the street to advertising
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
 on the Internet. Most of them are very irritating and sometimes detrimental too.
However
Linking Words
, I suppose that we just need to prohibit and regulate more strictly some kinds of advertising but not all of them. There is no denying the fact that there are more and more fiddling
advertisements
Use synonyms
 printed outstandingly
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the newspaper
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 or distributed by hand. The development of information technology makes the availability of
such
Linking Words
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 viral. Some of them, especially those with violent or sexy imagery, can be harmful to the growth of children in terms of physics and mentality.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the majority of
advertisements
Use synonyms
 tend to exaggerate the quality of products and overlook their drawbacks.
For instance
Linking Words
, attractive videos about a kind of spicy snack or fast food can easily increase people’s appetite and make them skip the main meals which are far more healthy
However
Linking Words
, only by creating enchanting forms of advertising can we encourage
consumers ‘
Change noun form
consumers
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purchase
Fix the infinitive
to purchase
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, boost
company’s
Correct article usage
the company’s
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 revenue and eventually lead to economic development.
Moreover
Linking Words
, formal
advertisements
Use synonyms
, particularly from prestige labels, might partly direct customers to which products
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are more appropriate
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, they can make a good choice on their own.
Therefore
Linking Words
, competent authorities should take immediate measures to control the numbers as well as the content of each advertisement to ensure that they represent the true quality level of
product
Correct article usage
the product
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 and
customers
Correct word choice
that customers
show examples
 are not deceived. To wrap up, I am in favour of
limitation
Replace the word
limiting
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 and enacting stringent regulations
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
advertisements
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of banning all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of them.
Submitted by ivvitest3 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • unnecessary expenditure
  • critical source
  • informed choices
  • misleading
  • exaggerate
  • survival
  • target audience
  • environmental degradation
  • disposal
  • art and expression
  • social and cultural value
  • commercial intent
  • reasoned conclusion
What to do next:
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