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Band 4.5

The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree?

#society #ban #forms #purpose
Today, it comes as no surprise that
advertisements
 can be seen everywhere, from banners being hung up on the street to advertising
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
 on the Internet. Most of them are very irritating and sometimes detrimental too.
However
, I suppose that we just need to prohibit and regulate more strictly some kinds of advertising but not all of them. There is no denying the fact that there are more and more fiddling
advertisements
 printed outstandingly
on
Change preposition
in
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Correct article usage
the newspaper
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newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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 or distributed by hand. The development of information technology makes the availability of
such
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 viral. Some of them, especially those with violent or sexy imagery, can be harmful to the growth of children in terms of physics and mentality.
Furthermore
, the majority of
advertisements
 tend to exaggerate the quality of products and overlook their drawbacks.
For instance
, attractive videos about a kind of spicy snack or fast food can easily increase people’s appetite and make them skip the main meals which are far more healthy
However
, only by creating enchanting forms of advertising can we encourage
consumers ‘
Change noun form
consumers
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purchase
Fix the infinitive
to purchase
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, boost
company’s
Correct article usage
the company’s
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 revenue and eventually lead to economic development.
Moreover
, formal
advertisements
, particularly from prestige labels, might partly direct customers to which products
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are more appropriate
with
Change preposition
apply
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.
Then
, they can make a good choice on their own.
Therefore
, competent authorities should take immediate measures to control the numbers as well as the content of each advertisement to ensure that they represent the true quality level of
product
Correct article usage
the product
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 and
customers
Correct word choice
that customers
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 are not deceived. To wrap up, I am in favour of
limitation
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limiting
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 and enacting stringent regulations
to
Change preposition
on
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advertisements
instead
 of banning all
kind
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kinds
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 of them.
Submitted by ivvitest3 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • unnecessary expenditure
  • critical source
  • informed choices
  • misleading
  • exaggerate
  • survival
  • target audience
  • environmental degradation
  • disposal
  • art and expression
  • social and cultural value
  • commercial intent
  • reasoned conclusion
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