IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

BIG SALARY IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN JOB SATISFACTION. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#salary #job #satisfaction
Nowadays, a number of individuals believe that earning a
lot
 of income is more significant than the contentment of
work
 when they choose a
job
. I partially agree with
this
 opinion because
although
 receiving a
lot
 of salaries gives
people
 many advantages,
this
 cannot be an alternative to being content with
work
Firstly
, earning a
lot
 of wages provides working
people
 with a chance to improve the quality of their lives. It is commonly known that
money
 can help
people
 satisfy their desire
such
 as luxurious life. In
this
 respect, if human beings have a
lot
 of
money
, they can acquire fancy accommodations and enjoy a variety of activities that are costly
such
 as purchasing products and travelling abroad. For
this
 reason, It is clear that by spending a
lot
 of
money
, they feel joy and happiness in their lives and remind of the reason for maintaining their
job
 continually.
Therefore
, it is evident that a large salary is a more significant factor than others. In spite of the above view,
job
 satisfaction is a pivotal role in having an occupation. because
this
 helps
people
 who have a
job
work
 for a longer time than a higher salary.
For instance
, Korean Times has reported that
people
 regard finishing their
work
 on time as
job
 satisfaction and the number of
people
 who
work
 consider that
this
 is important since after their
work
 they can spend more time for themselves. helps
people
 relieve stress and focus on their
work
 more.
Therefore
, it is clear that earning plenty of salaries cannot be changed to
work
 satisfaction as the most significant factor when working. In conclusion, it is undeniable that the value of
money
 occupies a large part of our life, but
this
 cannot be a better choice when having a position in society.
Submitted by thgus6883 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: