Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #happiness #success #factors

In the area of modernization, there are two opinions about joy. The

first

is about relating

Change preposition

apply

show examples

inner pleasure to financial

success

and the

second

one

is the opposite (happiness does not connect with monetary

success

and depends on something another). It seems clear to me that it has a connection because we are able to solve different problems and make

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

show examples

happier with a help of

money

. It can be seen that some people think economic

success

has an impact on the mental state of a person. From my point of view, it is so because nowadays we have various problems which are able to be solved with help of

money

Also

, we can invest

money

in something which brings us pleasure.

For instance

, my friend bought

drawing

Correct article usage

a drawing

show examples

course and now she enjoys spending time doing it and she feels inspired by increasing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

her drawing skills.

Besides

, there is

one

more thinking which has a place in modern life as a previous

one

. According to

this

, joy has other resources for being. Of course, it depends on personal behaviour and preferences which bring inner pleasure but in many cases, it is about family and friends. People are able to be happy with help of spending time with close friends and family members. The most important thing is that you do not need capital to feel comfortable and enjoy the moment with them.

For example

, when I spend time with my parents we can discuss anything, watch films or cook something and it brings happiness for us. Nowadays a part of the population thinks that to be happy you need to have enough

money

but another

one

has the opinion that to be cheerful you should use other resources. I have

come

Add the preposition

tocome

show examples

the conclusion that there is a close relationship between joy and monetary

success

because in our lives

money

plays a very important role.

Submitted by aleksandra.ponomarenkoo on Sun May 01 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Your opinion

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