IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of water and air from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era,
due to
Linking Words
 a growing population and industrial developments with major constructions, the majority of necessary resources are becoming scarce in developing countries. The major affected sources are
Water
Use synonyms
 and
air
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 fact, both sources are reaching low
quality
Use synonyms
, affecting
overall
Linking Words
 human health and Mother
Nature
Use synonyms
. Under these vast constructions in urban areas,
such
Linking Words
 as building complexes and housing schemes, are drastically affecting the
water
Use synonyms
 resources. Most of these buildings are
unauthorized
Change the spelling
unauthorised
show examples
 constructions and blocking
water
Use synonyms
 ways and springs with concrete foundations.
Also
Linking Words
, the harmful and toxic
air
Use synonyms
 released by garments and chemical factories is affecting the
air
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
 index, resulting in higher rates of carbon monoxide levels, covering entire nations in thick fog, killing every living being. To prevent these harmful impacts, every citizen and state holds sole responsibility to protect their own lands. Every country has its own
nature
Use synonyms
 preserve department and relevant authorities; the government should focus more on these regulatory bodies and strengthen legal power to take action against each and every constructor killing
water
Use synonyms
 resources.
Also
Linking Words
, the pupils should be more conscious
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their environment and surroundings. If anyone or any
organization
Change the spelling
organisation
show examples
 is releasing harmful sewage to waterways, it should be reported to the relevant police stations and
nature
Use synonyms
 authorities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, to protect the
air
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
, the industries must be conscious about their emissions levels and the impact on the citizens and
nature
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, the relevant regulatory bodies have the main power to control these industries by paying visits once a month to the factory sites to evaluate the monoxide levels and imply fine on companies and industries that do not adhere to protocols.
To conclude
Linking Words
, taking these precautions and necessary actions will prevent future vast problems towards the planet's ecosystem and ensure every living being's right to
utilize
Change the spelling
utilise
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
air
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more directly. Say what steps the government, factories, and builders should take.
task response
Add one or two clear examples of laws, clean technology, or waste treatment.
task response
Keep your ideas more focused. Some parts talk about the problem again, not only the measures.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple way. Use words like first, also, for example, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph unity. Put water measures in one paragraph and air measures in another paragraph.
task response
You address both water and air, so you cover the main parts of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You give some useful measures such as stronger law, public reports, and factory checks.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: