IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Sugary drinks should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree

#drinks #people #sugar
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there is an opinion that there should be a hike in the
price
Use synonyms
 of soft
drinks
Use synonyms
 so that
people
Use synonyms
lesson
Correct your spelling
lessen
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 their daily intake of
such
Linking Words
 beverages. I find
this
Linking Words
 proposal fruitful up to certain limits since
price
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 increment cannot put a complete halt on their consumption. It goes without saying that
people
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 consumed
drinks
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 because they are affordable in
price
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. Their reasonable
price
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 allures consumers to drink them on daily basis. Quite understandably, if their rate gets doubled, everyone would hesitate to buy them.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will switch to
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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alternative
Fix the agreement mistake
alternatives
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such
Linking Words
 as lemonade. A survey conducted by the WHO organisation concluded that when Coca-Cola drink was made costly by 30 rupees per litre, overall sales witnessed a 40% downfall in income, causing a 50 lacs loss per month to the company.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I think that whether or not the
price
Use synonyms
 gets escalated, addictive buyers would anyhow afford to get it. Generally, the inflation is going higher with each passing day but
people
Use synonyms
 still buy everything of their need.
Also
Linking Words
, the
drinks
Use synonyms
 are not an exclusive source to consume sugar, there are multiple other food items which are sweet in nature and continuously have been eaten by individuals. From my perspective,
people
Use synonyms
 must be made aware of the ill effects related to soft
drinks
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. Until or unless they themselves regulate their intake, no method of minimising sugary food sales can bring any change in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. In conclusion, the cost of soft
drinks
Use synonyms
 does not make a big difference whether it's less or more
instead
Linking Words
 other ways like spreading awareness about the harms, on a serious note are not exercised.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sugary drinks, sugar-sweetened beverages, soft drinks
  • Health consequences, obesity, diabetes, dental health
  • Government intervention, public health, deterrent
  • Sin taxes, levies, fiscal policies
  • Equity, accessibility, low-income communities
  • Consumer behavior, dietary habits
  • Education campaigns, public awareness
  • Beverage industry, economic impact
  • Paternalism, autonomy, personal choice
  • Global trends, international policies
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