Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop children`s life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people have many views about what is beneficial for offspring during their free time. It is true that younger people would
be developed
social skills when participating in leisure activities, Wrong verb form
develop
while
I believe that reading books can help children to broaden their knowledge.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that there is
a number of advantages for a juvenile to join an active pastime. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Firstly
, physical activities seem to foster children`s mental development with critical thinking, for example
, when they play chess they know how to keep calm and positive with rivals. Moreover
, playing sport
helps us improve health benefits Fix the agreement mistake
sports
such
as burning calories or fat and staying in shape leading to this
younger reducing the risks of obesity and heart attack. Secondly
, parents encourage their kids to take part in charitable organizations where they will not only show their empathy and have a strong sense of kindness to others who are unlucky than them but also
learn many soft skills and how to deal with tough circumstances. Furthermore
and simply, younger just enjoy playing with their peers in extracurricular activities where they can build communication and connect to social networks.
On the other hand
, reading books can help children absorb the knowledge about theories and experiences that are extremely useful for them in present and in the run long. In terms of theory, they will be strengthened academic
concepts Change preposition
in academic
that
they become experts in the major. Correct word choice
so that
As a result
, they will be easily self-orient to choose what they will study at the university or what they will apply to their career . Regarding experience , many authors wrote about their real trials and tribulations that readers could study through their experiences of forefathers. For instance
, young people who want to explore and travel overseas will find out about the culture , customs and the prohibition of rules in tourist books that they avoid some dangerous and risky .
In conclusion, children should spend time on supporting mental and
Correct word choice
apply
healthy
Replace the word
health
that
they can develop fruitful Correct word choice
so that
however
enhancing knowledge is still necessary for them in contemporary society .Submitted by thuy.hong.cyc on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Make sure to fully address the essay prompt by including arguments for and against the statement provided.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas to ensure a clear and cohesive structure throughout the essay. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!