Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop children`s life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #pastime #children`s #life #skills #time

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Many people have many views about what is beneficial for offspring during their free time. It is true that younger people would

be developed

Wrong verb form

develop

show examples

social skills when participating in leisure activities,

while

Linking Words

I believe that reading books can help children to broaden their knowledge. On the one hand, it is undeniable that there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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a number of advantages for a juvenile to join an active pastime.

Firstly

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, physical activities seem to foster children`s mental development with critical thinking,

for example

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, when they play chess they know how to keep calm and positive with rivals.

Moreover

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, playing

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

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helps us improve health benefits

such

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as burning calories or fat and staying in shape leading to

this

Linking Words

younger reducing the risks of obesity and heart attack.

Secondly

Linking Words

, parents encourage their kids to take part in charitable organizations where they will not only show their empathy and have a strong sense of kindness to others who are unlucky than them but

also

Linking Words

learn many soft skills and how to deal with tough circumstances.

Furthermore

Linking Words

and simply, younger just enjoy playing with their peers in extracurricular activities where they can build communication and connect to social networks.

On the other hand

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, reading books can help children absorb the knowledge about theories and experiences that are extremely useful for them in present and in the run long. In terms of theory, they will be strengthened

academic

Change preposition

in academic

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concepts

that

Correct word choice

so that

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they become experts in the major.

As a result

Linking Words

, they will be easily self-orient to choose what they will study at the university or what they will apply to their career . Regarding experience , many authors wrote about their real trials and tribulations that readers could study through their experiences of forefathers.

For instance

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, young people who want to explore and travel overseas will find out about the culture , customs and the prohibition of rules in tourist books that they avoid some dangerous and risky . In conclusion, children should spend time on supporting mental

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

healthy

Replace the word

health

show examples

that

Correct word choice

so that

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they can develop fruitful

however

Linking Words

enhancing knowledge is still necessary for them in contemporary society .

Submitted by thuy.hong.cyc on Sun May 01 2022

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task response

Make sure to fully address the essay prompt by including arguments for and against the statement provided.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the organization of ideas to ensure a clear and cohesive structure throughout the essay. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

351 words

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Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop children`s life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that counties should produce food for all population eats and import food as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree? agree= no poverty, more jobs disagree = profitable, trades with other

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

79.Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.