IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The best/ only way to solve the world's environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

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One school of thought holds that an increase in
petrol
Use synonyms
 prices is the most effective measure to deal with environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 that happen worldwide.
While
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 I acknowledge the reasons behind
this
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 thinking, I am of the opinion that there are particular measures that could be more effective than raising fuel costs. On the one hand, it is understandable why some people propose increasing
petrol
Use synonyms
 prices as the foremost method of addressing environmental
problems
Use synonyms
. The key rationale is that
this
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 practice would lead to a decrease in the amount of
petrol
Use synonyms
 consumed for transportation.
This
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 means the discharge of CO2 and other pollutants, the main culprits behind global warming, would be reduced.
However
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,
such
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 a scenario would not happen since using
petrol
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 terms is a deep-rooted practice of humans, which could be seen in all vehicles that currently use
petrol
Use synonyms
 as the main source of energy.
Therefore
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, raising the price of
petrol
Use synonyms
 should not be deemed as a practical solution.
On the other hand
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, I believe there are other measures that can be more workable in addressing environmental
problems
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. One of these is to raise public awareness about the consequences of environmental pollution.
For example
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, it is imperative that campaigns that encourage citizens to use public transport SHOULD BE intensified, which may directly reduce the volume of exhaust fumes from private vehicles.
In addition
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 to
this
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, the government should allocate more money to researching and developing green technologies,
such
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 as renewables, which is key to lowering the reliance on carbon-intensive energy sources. Compared to heightening
petrol
Use synonyms
 costs, these solutions tend to be more sustainable in solving environmental issues. In conclusion, for the reasons elaborated above, it stands to reason that increasing
petrol
Use synonyms
 prices should be considered as the best way to mitigate environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 and that the proposed measures seem more workable.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied transition words and phrases to link your ideas seamlessly.
task achievement
Your main points are well-argued, but ensure that your reasons and examples are as specific and relevant as possible. Adding concrete examples and real-world applications could strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The use of capital letters (‘SHOULD BE’) stands out and is unnecessary. Use regular text and stress importance through context and phrasing.
task achievement
Ensure you maintain consistency in the points you make. The essay mentions that raising petrol prices would lead to a reduction in pollution but also counters it in the same paragraph. Make your stance clearer and support it throughout the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction sets a clear context and provides a balanced view, making your stance understood from the beginning.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your opinion, providing a strong closing statement.
logical structure
Your points are logical and follow a coherent structure, making it relatively easy for the reader to follow your argument.
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