Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop children`s life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #pastime #children`s #life #skills #time

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Many people have many views about what is beneficial for offspring during their free time. It is true that younger people would

be developed

Wrong verb form

develop

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social skills when participating in leisure activities,

while

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I believe that reading books can help

children

Use synonyms

to broaden their knowledge. On the one hand, it is undeniable that there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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a number of advantages for a juvenile to join in an active pastime.

Firstly

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, participating in physical activities underpins how we develop as intellectual , problem-solving adults and is crucial to our success as a highly adaptable species.

for example

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, when they play chess they know how to follow rules and address rivals.

Moreover

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children

Use synonyms

play sports which can help them improve health benefits

such

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as burning calories or fat and staying in shape leading to

this

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younger reduce the risks of obesity and heart attack.

Secondly

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, parents encourage their kids to take part in charitable organizations where they will not only show their empathy and have a strong sense of kindness to others who are unlucky than them but

also

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learn many soft skills and how to deal with tough circumstances.

Furthermore

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and simply,

children

Use synonyms

just enjoy playing with their peers in extracurricular activities where they can build communication and connect social networks.

On the other hand

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, reading books can help younger absorb the knowledge about theories and experiences that are extremely useful for them in present and in the run long. In terms of theory, they will be strengthened

academic

Change preposition

in academic

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concepts

that

Correct word choice

so that

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they become experts in the major.

As a result

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, they will be easily self-orient to choose what they will study at the university or what they will apply to their career . Regarding experience , many authors wrote about their real trials and tribulations that

children

Use synonyms

could study through the experiences of their forefathers.

For instance

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, young people who want to explore and travel overseas will find out about the culture , customs and the prohibition of rules in tourist books that they avoid some dangerous and risky . In conclusion,

children

Use synonyms

should spend time on supporting mental

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

healthy

Replace the word

health

show examples

that

Correct word choice

so that

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they can develop fruitful

however

Linking Words

enhancing knowledge is still necessary for them in contemporary society .

Submitted by thuy.hong.cyc on Mon May 02 2022

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task response

Ensure to clearly address each aspect of the topic: the benefits of active pastime vs. reading in developing children's life skills. Additionally, provide a stronger stance on whether you agree or disagree.

coherence cohesion

Improve the organization of your essay by structuring it with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensuring a smooth flow of ideas between them.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

367 words

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Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop children`s life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges related not only to the environment, but pollution and education as well. What problems your country will face in next years.

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree? Essay Outline

Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why it might be the case? What could be the disadvantages if being self-employed?

In their advertising businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negeztive development?