Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop children`s life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #pastime #children`s #life #skills #time

Many people have many views about what is beneficial for offspring during their free time. It is true that younger people would

be developed

Wrong verb form

develop

show examples

social skills when participating in leisure activities,

while

I believe that reading books can help

children

to broaden their knowledge. On the one hand, it is undeniable that there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

a number of advantages for a juvenile to join in an active pastime.

Firstly

, participating in physical activities underpins how we develop as intellectual , problem-solving adults and is crucial to our success as a highly adaptable species.

for example

, when they play chess they know how to follow rules and address rivals.

Moreover

children

play sports which can help them improve health benefits

such

as burning calories or fat and staying in shape leading to

this

younger reduce the risks of obesity and heart attack.

Secondly

, parents encourage their kids to take part in charitable organizations where they will not only show their empathy and have a strong sense of kindness to others who are unlucky than them but

also

learn many soft skills and how to deal with tough circumstances.

Furthermore

and simply,

children

just enjoy playing with their peers in extracurricular activities where they can build communication and connect social networks.

On the other hand

, reading books can help younger absorb the knowledge about theories and experiences that are extremely useful for them in present and in the run long. In terms of theory, they will be strengthened

academic

Change preposition

in academic

show examples

concepts

that

Correct word choice

so that

show examples

they become experts in the major.

As a result

, they will be easily self-orient to choose what they will study at the university or what they will apply to their career . Regarding experience , many authors wrote about their real trials and tribulations that

children

could study through the experiences of their forefathers.

For instance

, young people who want to explore and travel overseas will find out about the culture , customs and the prohibition of rules in tourist books that they avoid some dangerous and risky . In conclusion,

children

should spend time on supporting mental

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

healthy

Replace the word

health

show examples

that

Correct word choice

so that

show examples

they can develop fruitful

however

enhancing knowledge is still necessary for them in contemporary society .

Submitted by thuy.hong.cyc on Mon May 02 2022

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task response

Ensure to clearly address each aspect of the topic: the benefits of active pastime vs. reading in developing children's life skills. Additionally, provide a stronger stance on whether you agree or disagree.

coherence cohesion

Improve the organization of your essay by structuring it with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensuring a smooth flow of ideas between them.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

367 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop children`s life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this . You should write at least 250 words.

Some people believe that it is cruel to test drugs and other new products on animals. Others believe that this sort of testing is important and necessary for improving and even saving people’s lives. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give own your opinion

Some people believe that computers and the Internet are more important to a child’s education than schools and teachers. However, others argue that schools and teachers play a more important role in the education of children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.