IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Universities should allocate the same amount of money to student's sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. Do you agree?

#universities #amount #money #student #sports #activities #libraries
Sports
 play a very integral and vital role in human lives
this
 day as people are becoming more
health conscious
Add a hyphen
health-conscious
show examples
 and fitness freaks.It is argued that the educational institutions must equally spend the money on physical exercises as they do for libraries.I do agree with
this
 statement to some extent and the following essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
. To commence with, organizing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
 events can encourage students to indulge themselves in physical activities along with their academic courses.For an instance, In
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
 90% of the parents deprive their children of playing
sports
 because they want them to do better in their studies.They think that
sports
 are just a wastage of time and their kid's
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 can be ruined if they are into
such
 activities. So, if the schools take the
inititative
Correct your spelling
initiative
 in arranging
such
 things
then
 parents will not be able to question the school and it will give students the chance to choose the sport of their own choice.
On the other hand
, spending too
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 funds on
sports
 can sometimes even disturb the environment.
For example
, if the event is for one week
then
 for that week students will only be concerned about their performance and they will not take their courses into consideration and they will form a pile-up of work to do
thus
Correct your spelling
this
show examples
 ending up with
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
low scores by the end of the year. Overall, since merits outweigh the demerits the universities must try to use their grants for
sports
.
Submitted by simranminhas915 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: