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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cities #people’s #health
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City
Use synonyms
life
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 comes with benefits and drawbacks. The
predominate
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predominant
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 side is variable
person
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from person
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 to person.
Main
Correct article usage
The main
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 harm of
city
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life
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 is mostly
health
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 issues for some groups.
Health
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 issues may come out to the surface not only does it occurs with just psychically disorders but
also
Linking Words
 happen with mental problems.
Besides
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, most of the modern districts where wealthy
people
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 lives chokes with hazardous releases of chemical gases and elements. Admittedly, modern
life
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 altered individuals’ daily
life
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 routines, concerns about
future
Correct article usage
the future
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, career ambitions, etc. Intense
level
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levels
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 of stress reasons may lead to mental or psychical
problem
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problems
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 eventually.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in comparison with the rich
people
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, the mass who earn middle or low income to stay good
health
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statue
Correct your spelling
status
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 can be more challenging
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 in developing and undeveloped countries. Citizens of those countries are forced to
immigrating
Wrong verb form
immigrate
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urban
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to urban
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 areas indirectly
as a result
Linking Words
 of; living difficulties in rural areas.
Subsequently
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, there are many facts that affect residents’
health
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 directly. To make
profit
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a profit
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 and compensate
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city
Change preposition
for city
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 needs, facilities produce
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a product
the product
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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, and
this
Linking Words
 process leads to
Correct article usage
the reveal
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reveal
Change the verb form
revealing
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 of some sort of chemicals as
a
Remove the article
apply
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waste. Those chemical wastes
spreads
Change the verb form
spread
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 to the different locations
of
Change preposition
apply
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the as a gas or as a waste material blended with the water source.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, factories
not
Add a missing verb
are not
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only
Correct article usage
the only
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 pollution source
of
Change preposition
for
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 cities.
Individualistic
Correct article usage
The individualistic
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 side of carbon
food print
Correct your spelling
foodprint
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 can not overestimate.
People
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 tend to use plastics for every kind of item.
Thus
Linking Words
, those illogical habits pollute the soil.
Moreover
Linking Words
, transportation usage
rare
Add a missing verb
is rare
show examples
around
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among
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people
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 who
owns
Correct subject-verb agreement
own
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 a vehicle. In conclusion, I believe
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
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 concept damaged our instinctive spirit of
life
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. Intense immigration level improves releases of harmful material to the cityside
as a result
Linking Words
 of
nonstop
Add an article
the nonstop
a nonstop
show examples
 working environment.
Hence
Linking Words
, fatigue from hard work puts
people
Use synonyms
 in mental danger.
Submitted by ardacelik98 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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