IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some believe that protecting the environment is the responsibility of individuals, while others think that governments and large companies should take the lead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
It is often argued that protecting the environment is primarily the responsibility of
individuals
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
governments
Use synonyms
 and large
corporations
Use synonyms
 should take the lead.
Although
Linking Words
individuals
Use synonyms
 have an important role to play, I believe that
governments
Use synonyms
 and major
companies
Use synonyms
 have a far greater ability to create meaningful and long-term environmental change.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
individuals
Use synonyms
 can contribute significantly to environmental protection through their daily choices.
For example
Linking Words
, people can reduce their use of plastic, recycle household waste, use public transport and avoid wasting water and electricity. If millions of people adopt these habits, the combined effect can be substantial.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, individual behaviour can influence businesses, as consumers who prefer environmentally friendly products may encourage
companies
Use synonyms
 to adopt greener production methods.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
governments
Use synonyms
 and large
corporations
Use synonyms
 have much greater resources and influence.
Governments
Use synonyms
 can introduce and enforce environmental laws, invest in renewable energy and improve public transport infrastructure. They can
also
Linking Words
 impose taxes or penalties on
companies
Use synonyms
 that cause excessive pollution. Large
corporations
Use synonyms
, meanwhile, control huge production and supply chains, meaning that changes in their manufacturing processes can have an impact on millions of consumers.
For instance
Linking Words
, a major company that replaces fossil fuels with renewable energy across its factories could reduce its carbon emissions on a much larger scale than an individual household ever could.
Body paragraph 3
In my view, environmental protection requires cooperation between
individuals
Use synonyms
,
governments
Use synonyms
 and businesses.
However
Linking Words
,
governments
Use synonyms
 and large
corporations
Use synonyms
 should take the lead because they have the financial resources, authority and technological capacity to make large-scale changes.
Individuals
Use synonyms
 should support these efforts through responsible choices in their everyday lives.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
individuals
Use synonyms
 undoubtedly have a responsibility to protect the environment, but
governments
Use synonyms
 and large
companies
Use synonyms
 are in a much stronger position to tackle environmental problems on a national and global scale.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that they should take the primary responsibility
while
Linking Words
 encouraging
individuals
Use synonyms
 to contribute.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same. To make it even stronger, add one more real example of a law, a company plan, or a city transport system.
task response
You discuss both sides well. You could also say more clearly why personal action alone may not be enough, such as when people have no clean buses or few green products to buy.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow. Each main idea has its own part, and the order is clear. Keep using this plan: first view, second view, your view, then a short end.
coherence and cohesion
Your link words work well, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”. Try not to use too many set link words in future work; you can also link ideas by repeating key words like “pollution”, “energy”, and “public transport”.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain the role of people, the role of the state and big firms, and give a clear view of your own.
task response
Your examples are relevant and help show the size of the difference between home choices and big changes in factories or transport.
coherence and cohesion
The opening gives a clear main view, and the final part returns to that view in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas move in a clear order, and each paragraph has one main point with support.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • protect the environment
  • individual responsibility
  • take the lead
  • daily actions
  • save water
  • use less plastic
  • public transport
  • recycle waste
  • at home
  • small steps
  • make a big difference
  • good habits
  • start at home
  • waste food
  • save power
  • care for nature
  • green way of life
  • large change
  • create laws
  • cut pollution
  • air pollution
  • water pollution
  • clean energy
  • wind power
  • solar power
  • key role
  • large companies
  • reduce waste
  • clean technology
  • eco-friendly products
  • on a bigger scale
  • control money
  • public support
  • environmental policy
  • more successful
What to do next:
Look at other essays: