Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#violence #playgrounds #parents #children

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Incidents in playgrounds increase dramatically these days, and most of them tend to be violent. Some people think that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

parents play a big role

to teach

Change preposition

in teaching

show examples

their

kids

Use synonyms

not to hit back at bullies. I partially agree with the statement,

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

sometimes endurance is not always the right solution.

Firstly

Linking Words

, things become bigger and more serious because of the constant fights and hitting backs. More and more bullying incidents emerge in schools or playgrounds, occasionally, pupils

Verb problem

are

show examples

not even aware that they are bullying or being bullied.

Therefore

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, it is vital for families to lecture their

kids

Use synonyms

on how to react and the solutions when bullies

happened

Wrong verb form

happen

show examples

to them.

For instance

Linking Words

, parental roles can educate

kids

Use synonyms

to leave the place and do not ever

using

Change the verb form

use

show examples

words to provoke bullies, which normally makes things worse.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, schools and the parents always teach their

kids

Use synonyms

not to hick back, and the only method is to tell their teachers, which usually lets the fights become more extreme.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, Students should

also

Linking Words

be taught that expressing themselves is important and necessary. To illustrate, reacting immediately can solve the question effectively,

likewise

Linking Words

, fighting back at the moment is to protect yourself from being more

hurts

Fix the agreement mistake

hurt

show examples

Overall

Linking Words

, sometimes teachers as a mouth voices will make the situation worsen.

To conclude

Linking Words

, as a moral example, indeed, the parents should teach their

kids

Use synonyms

to be polite and pleasant

during

Change preposition

while

show examples

playing with their friends.

However

Linking Words

, fighting back instantly sometimes is a more appropriate method to protect yourself from getting hurt.

Submitted by lovedimension4 on Tue May 03 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and follows a logical progression of ideas. Use transition words to connect ideas throughout the essay.

task achievement

Address the prompt clearly and provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Make sure to present a balanced view and consider counterarguments.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays longer distances are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some considered it to be a negative development. While others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some feel that it is impossible for a country to be economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. Others disagree with this view. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas.

Some people think it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinion as them. Other people believe it's good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.