Topic: Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many believe it is better to have separate
schools
for
boys
and
girls
as it ensures safety from events like eve-teasing and allows for more focus on studies
whereas
other people opine and support
co-education
for
boys
and
girls
. I definitely support the latter statement as
co-education
will make them confident and prepare them for the future.
This
essay will elaborate more on both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perspectives. On the one hand, separate schooling for male and female counterparts brings a sense of belonging
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
them. They feel more connected
due to
the same gender resulting in focused minds and better academic results.
Moreover
, separate
schools
for
boys
and
girls
will reduce incidents of eve-teasing
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in high school.
Thus
, it is appropriate to have separate educational institutes for
boys
and
girls
.
On the other hand
, in today’s time, the importance of
co-education
cannot be neglected as
co-education
prepares an individual for the future because workplaces operate in a mixed-gender environment and it will be easier for youngsters to adjust
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
a mixed-gender environment.
Also
for holistic personality development, it is highly recommended by experts that people should study in co-educational
schools
. To illustrate, a recent study in the Times newspaper shows that students studying in co-educational
schools
are far more confident than students
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
separate
schools
.
Therefore
, co-educational
schools
are necessary for individual growth. In conclusion, to be prepared for the practical world, it is imperative to educate all genders under one roof as
this
eliminates the fear that may arise if they study in separate
schools
.
Additionally
, it enhances an individual's personality and makes them future-ready.
Submitted by bindiya.gupta01 on

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General Advice
Your essay presents a balanced discussion on the topic, addressing both viewpoints well. However, to push your score higher, try to include more specific examples or studies to support your arguments.
Introduction
In your introduction, clarify your position a bit more by directly stating your opinion. This will make it easier for the reader to understand your stance from the beginning.
Conclusion
While your conclusion effectively summarizes your points, try to reiterate the main arguments more explicitly to reinforce your position further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, which helps the reader follow your arguments easily. Both introduction and conclusion are well-presented, summarizing the main ideas effectively.
Task Achievement
The points you presented on both sides of the argument are well-developed and comprehensive, showing a good understanding of the topic.

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