Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

These days, countless foods and drinks contain high amounts of
sugar
, which causes many diseases and health problems. In my opinion, there are some more efficient ways to encourage
people
to cut down on consuming
sugar
rather than making
such
products
more expensive. So I strongly disagree with raising sugary product prices. One of the serious challenges which doctors and scientists are facing
is treat
Change the verb form
is treated
is treating
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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patients
from
Change preposition
with
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diseases,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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caused by consuming much
sugar
.
For example
, nowadays many
people
suffer from diabetes and its symptoms, which affect most
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
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of the body,
such
as the kidneys, brain and the eyes. So
high
Correct article usage
a high
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amount of
health
Correct article usage
the health
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budget is spent on
Correct article usage
the treatment
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treatment
Replace the word
treating
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diabetes
Change preposition
of diabetes
show examples
and its dangerous impacts, which could be avoided by lowering the number of sweet
products
. As it is obvious,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diabetes type II could be easily avoided by having a healthy lifestyle and consuming healthy foods.
Therefore
,
people
are able to have a healthy life far from many diseases by removing
sugar
from their diet. It is claimed that raising the prices of some
products
does not certainly lead to decreasing the sale of that. I believe that there are some more effective methods to encourage citizens not to consume
sugar
.
For instance
, by making
people
aware of the drawbacks of eating sugary
products
, and encouraging them to have less sweet foods and drinks, governments would be able to reduce the amount of
sugar
which
people
consume. Manufacturers can
also
decrease the amount of
sugar
, that they use to make their sugary
products
, or even they are able to use healthy natural sweeteners. In conclusion, I disagree to raise the prices of
sugar
products
because
this
phase is not as efficient as other ways, which I explained in the previous paragraph.
Submitted by mehdizafari1995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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