Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, countless foods and drinks contain high amounts of
sugar
Use synonyms
, which causes many diseases and health problems. In my opinion, there are some more efficient ways to encourage
people
Use synonyms
to cut down on consuming
sugar
Use synonyms
rather than making
such
Linking Words
products
Use synonyms
more expensive. So I strongly disagree with raising sugary product prices. One of the serious challenges which doctors and scientists are facing
is treat
Change the verb form
is treated
is treating
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
patients
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
diseases,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
caused by consuming much
sugar
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays many
people
Use synonyms
suffer from diabetes and its symptoms, which affect most
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of the body,
such
Linking Words
as the kidneys, brain and the eyes. So
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
amount of
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
budget is spent on
Correct article usage
the treatment
show examples
treatment
Replace the word
treating
show examples
diabetes
Change preposition
of diabetes
show examples
and its dangerous impacts, which could be avoided by lowering the number of sweet
products
Use synonyms
. As it is obvious,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diabetes type II could be easily avoided by having a healthy lifestyle and consuming healthy foods.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
are able to have a healthy life far from many diseases by removing
sugar
Use synonyms
from their diet. It is claimed that raising the prices of some
products
Use synonyms
does not certainly lead to decreasing the sale of that. I believe that there are some more effective methods to encourage citizens not to consume
sugar
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, by making
people
Use synonyms
aware of the drawbacks of eating sugary
products
Use synonyms
, and encouraging them to have less sweet foods and drinks, governments would be able to reduce the amount of
sugar
Use synonyms
which
people
Use synonyms
consume. Manufacturers can
also
Linking Words
decrease the amount of
sugar
Use synonyms
, that they use to make their sugary
products
Use synonyms
, or even they are able to use healthy natural sweeteners. In conclusion, I disagree to raise the prices of
sugar
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
because
this
Linking Words
phase is not as efficient as other ways, which I explained in the previous paragraph.
Submitted by mehdizafari1995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: