IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #students #classes
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In
this
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 day and age, it is a common belief that
university
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students
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 had better be imposed on attending
classes
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,
while
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 others enunciate the idea that it may be better for them to have the right to go to
classes
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 on their own. From my perspective, I concur with the latter opinion. On the one hand, many people believe that requiring
university
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learners
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 to take
part
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 in
classes
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 is of uttermost significance in some aspects. First and foremost, it is believed that
this
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 may be an exhilarating way for universities to help
students
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 achieve outstanding academic records at school because
further
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 institutions may be expert enough to select the uttermost appropriate lessons depending on their
learner’s
Change noun form
learners’
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 majors for
students
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.
As a result
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, the only thing
students
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 need to focus on is paying attention to their studies seriously to obtain excellent records without taking suitable curriculums into consideration
immensely
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apply
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.
Besides
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, requiring
learners
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 to follow the aforementioned
classes
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 may play an indispensable
part
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 in saving
time
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 for them now that they do not need to spend too much
time
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 finding
their
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apply
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useful
classes
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 and signing up for these ones.
However
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, I believe these activities might deter the creativity
as well as
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 the independence of
university
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students
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 which constitute a pivotal factor to their success in their future career paths.
On the other hand
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, I put forward the idea that
students
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 should be optional to attend their favourable
classes
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 depending on their purposes and the flexibility of
time
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 as well. Indeed, educational institutions ought to spur
learners
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 to arrange their timetables as long as they take
part
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 in enough lessons.
Therefore
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, not only can they enhance a myriad of crucial
solf
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soft
 skills like
time
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-management skills but they
also
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 can set aside much
time
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 to get involved in
part
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-
time
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 jobs with a view to gain numerous practical experiences.
Furthermore
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, it is better for
university
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learners
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 to be eligible
for choosing
Change preposition
to choose
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 their
classes
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 at school
relying
Verb problem
based
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 on their purposes rather than following the same patterns among numerous their peers. Thanks to
this
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, it may make a huge contribution to helping them acknowledge their weaknesses and strengths
of
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apply
show examples
themselves
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apply
show examples
to endeavour to achieve their objectives in the future. In conclusion, notwithstanding the various merits of taking
part
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 in
classes
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according to
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 the arrangement of
further
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 institutions, I believe that attending
classes
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 on their own is of uttermost benefit in some aspects.
Submitted by phuongank1511 on

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Task Response
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will enhance the impact of your arguments.
Task Response
Focus on making your ideas clearer by simplifying some of the more complex sentences, which will improve reader understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure logical progression and connectivity between paragraphs for smoother flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that nicely frame your argument.
Task Response
You addressed both views of the topic and offered a personal opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a good attempt to discuss multiple aspects of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured education
  • in-person learning
  • engagement
  • discipline and routine
  • peer collaboration
  • educational experience
  • expertise
  • immediate feedback
  • understanding
  • procrastination
  • independence
  • learning styles
  • flexibility
  • time management
  • commitments
  • hybrid model
  • academic standards
  • learning needs
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