IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

#people #advertisements #products #lives
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Marketing strategies nowadays have their own pros and cons. There are
people
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 who say it only cost us to spend money on useless
things
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, while others see it to be helpful in
things
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 that may contribute to our daily living.
This
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 essay will argue that advertisements tell us about new
products
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 that may improve our lives.
People
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 are sometimes deceived by these advertisements. Businessmen will really make their way just to earn which will lead other
people
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 to be deceived by their
products
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.
For example
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,
ads
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 on our Facebook sometimes appear in our news feeds which
also
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 sometimes encourages us through their low price strategies. Because of the low price offered,
people
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 tend to buy those
products
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 though they don't really need them.
Therefore
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, these
ads
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 encourage
people
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 to buy that product even without thinking
their
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about their
show examples
 usage of it. On the other side, publishing business
ads
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 will somehow help us to know
products
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 that may be helpful for a specific task.
People
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 who are not fond of reading magazines will surely enjoy watching tv commercial
ads
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.
For example
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, TV commercials mostly show trends in technology these days. A newly improvised floor map with a squeezer will surely encourage
people
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, for it may give lighter tasks in mapping the floor.
Therefore
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, these business
ads
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, somehow help
people
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 to discover new
things
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 which will, later on, has a good contribution. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay argued that some
people
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 say, advertising encourages
people
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 to buy
things
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 which are unnecessary, while other
people
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 say that it tells us about new
products
Use synonyms
 that we needed to discover. In my opinion, I agree that advertising helps us in discovering new
products
Use synonyms
 which may be helpful to our lives.
Submitted by shielanyann on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
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