Worker often have to retire at the age of 60 or 65. However, some people say that they should be allowed to continue working for as long as they want. What is your opinion about this?

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People usually become pensioners when they are 60 or 65 and with it, they leave their job.

However

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, there are some who opine that they should have the possibility to continue working. In my personal opinion, for example, I disagree and in

this

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essay

Add a comma

,essay

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I will explain my view.

Although

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giving the elders the opportunity to feel still productive and functional in our society, it is lucid that we would be closing the door for the youngsters that are trying to incorporate

Change preposition

into

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the work world because unfortunately there are not enough positions for everyone.

For instance

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, the statistics of unemployment remain growing in most countries and the possibility to obtain a job is reducing especially for those with a lack of experience. many companies prefer to maintain the same staff for years and avoid training that requires money and time.

Consequently

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, elders remain to get pensions and salaries while others do not receive any income.

In addition

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, and no less important even though the elders feel that they can continue with their daily activities, their body is at the highest risk than the youngers and the consequences of a simple fall could be fatal.

For example

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, if a 60 years old person working in a childcare centre needs to carry a baby the effort of the back and arms is bigger than the one that a 30

years

Fix the agreement mistake

year

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old has to do,

furthermore

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, the balance is not the same so the wellbeing of the baby is

also

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in doubt.

Hence

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, it is important to promote their physical health and foster self-care

staying

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by staying

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at home doing relaxing routines, sharing with their loved ones or just looking after their health. To conclude, I disagree with the idea of allowing pensioned people to continue working not only because

this

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makes harder the process for young workers to be hired but

also

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because they deserve to have time to rest and look after themselves.

Submitted by gabrielapineros on Wed May 04 2022

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
pension systems
social security
life expectancy
mental and physical well-being
active and engaged
mentorship
knowledge transfer
job opportunities
workforce
physical strength
workplace safety
healthcare costs
accommodation
financial strain

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Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.