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Band 5.5

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #time
It is sometimes argued that if the economic contribution is consistent with the length of labour
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
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 among different countries. In my opinion that the conclusion is superficial without sufficient analysis from different perspectives. In
this
essay
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,essay
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 I will give my own perspective that the length of
average
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the average
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 working
hour
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hours
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 is not
a
Add a missing verb
have a
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positive relationship with the success
in
Change preposition
of
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economy
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the economy
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. On one hand, working hard is encouraged in
apply
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applied
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 society, which easily links to long working h. Undoubtedly, the possibility of economic success by hard-working would be higher than others.
For example
, the
salaryour
Correct your spelling
salary our
salary or
 for workers in a factory is normally calculated with
basic
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a basic
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 salary plus overtime salary according to their actual working
hour
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hours
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, as long as more work hours economic income would be more.
Nevertheless
, a musician spent one year writing a song, when the song has been published but
no
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has no
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 revenue because it’s not buy-in in the market. From another perspective, the yield rate is an important indicator to evaluate the success of a business by economists. There are several cases that proved the most eye-catching business case are always those
get
Correct pronoun usage
that get
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return
Wrong verb form
returned
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 in short term.
For instance
, JD corporation (China Amazon) was established in 1998, successfully listed in public stock in 2014, and it’s profitable in 2017. Meanwhile, JD’s competitor PDD was established in 2015, successfully listed in public stock in 2016, and achieved profitability in quarter one of 2021, PDD took six years to get profit, which is less than 11 years compared with JD which took 17 years.
Besides
, the development of technology in the recent decade have improved, more robot applied in manufacturing plant or used in the service industry, like robot arm in
production
Add an article
the production
a production
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 line,
delivery
Add an article
the delivery
a delivery
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 robot in hotel or restaurant, which appliances reduced the rework rate, scrap rate and the fluctuation by labour cost. To sum up, it’s too general to evaluate the economic performance
for
Change preposition
of
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 a country upon
hour
 spent on work, I support assessing the economic indicator in a
practice
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practical
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 way from different perspectives.
Submitted by yell00 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic success
  • working hours
  • productivity
  • sustainable development
  • work-life balance
  • labor laws
  • efficiency
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • burnout
  • occupational health
  • technological innovation
  • industrialized nations
  • emerging economies
  • workforce
  • competitiveness
  • workplace culture
  • employee turnover
  • quality of life
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