Educating young people is naturally important. However, some think governments ought to invest more education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #think #governments #education #adults

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It is undeniable that

education

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is a necessity for many individuals, especially adults who are less

priviledged

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privileged

. Even though it is vital to invest in

education

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for grown-ups, I believe that policymakers should not spend too much on it and firms should be involved as well.

To begin

Linking Words

with, intense

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

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workplace

Add an article

the workplace

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have rendered many employees' skills outdated. If

governments

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did not provide more training

courses

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to upgrade their skills, these people would be

structually

Correct your spelling

structurally

unemployed in the near future. On top of that, many working adults who are having financial difficulties could not afford to attend

courses

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to improve their competitiveness.

This

Linking Words

is because the cost of living has risen over the past decades,

many

Correct word choice

and many

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families already struggle to make both ends meet. Few families have financial resources to spend on enrichment

courses

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Therefore

Linking Words

governments

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have the responsibility to offer subsidies to cover parts of the course fees and make

courses

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more accessible for the mass.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that it is crucial to strike a balance between

education

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for adults and other priorities. Considering that

governments

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' budget is limited. Overspending on adult

education

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will jeopardise the development of other sectors.

For example

Linking Words

, healthcare, transport and environment sectors are equally important to

Correct article usage

the advancements

show examples

advancements

Fix the agreement mistake

advancement

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Change preposition

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society. If there are

less

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fewer

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grants available for these areas, the public's needs will not be well accommodated. On top of that, it is critical to mandate private enterprises to share the financial burden of adult

education

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Governments

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could make it compulsory and forces private companies to send their employees for enrichment programmes,

Linking Words

otherwise

Add a comma

,otherwise

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firms will face penalties. Ultimately, they are one of the beneficiaries of a more productive workforce. In conclusion, while it is true that

governments

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are obligated to allocate more resources to providing more

courses

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to sharpen people's skills, I argue that

this

Linking Words

approach may be a success at the expense of other fields.

Also

Linking Words

governments

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should require employers to share the burden since they

also

Linking Words

benefit from enrichment programmes.

Submitted by youhua94 on Wed May 04 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Educating young people is naturally important. However, some think governments ought to invest more education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people spend a lot of time and money on watching films and TV shows, either at home or in cinemas. This can have a negative impact on their health, budget, and lifestyle. What are the causes and effects of this phenomenon? How can it be prevented or reduced?

You live in a house opposite a park. Every day a man brings large dogs to the park and lets them run free. Write a letter to your local council complaining about the danger. In your letter say where the park is, say how often this happens give a description of the man a

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinion?