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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and imagination than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

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Playing and spending some
time
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 with children are considered to be contributing factors to their abilities rather than studying. While
this
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 approach can be proved beneficial up to some extent,
this
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 is far from being the best method. There is no doubt that for some people, evolving with a
child
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 in their playing activity makes them happy,
as a
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result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 their cognitive sense will be more enhanced.
For example
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, research shows that children whose parents are more involved with them are good at sports.
Moreover
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, kids who tend to enjoy more of their
time
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 with the family have grown out to be more successful people, as during childhood they gain lots of skilful traits from their descent. For these reasons, playful
time
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 with a
child
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 cannot be ignored.
However
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, there is no guarantee that mixing up with children led to better skills in future, while they
also
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 need to spend some of their valuable
time
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 at school.
First
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 of all, a
child
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 needs to give some of their
time
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 studying as well, as
this
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 will help them to develop their future prospects. To illustrate, to find a job in the coming future one should study and get a valuable degree as well.
Similarly
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, students who are good at studying are generally happy, whilst they will have more jobs, money and many other opportunities.
Thus
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, the education of a
child
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 cannot be boycotted. To sum up all of the above statements, despite the potential ways in which involvement with a
child
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 helps them to grow their complex ways of thinking, I believed that it cannot be assumed it is the best way as there is an old traditional method of reading to do so.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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