Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less Sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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A huge amount of sugary food and drink products include high levels of sugar in their ingredient, which results in several diseases in humans.
Therefore
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, it might be a good idea to raise the price of these merchandise so people avoid buying them. I strongly disagree with
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viewpoint. So, my perspective and
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statement will be explained in
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essay. As a matter of fact, increasing the charge of sugary products is a raw and basic opinion. Because there are many individuals who are addicted to sweet food and drinks.
As a result
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, the statistics of sweat buyers will not decline.
For example
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, New York University asked more than 10000 bourgeois, including grown men and women, children, teenagers and grandparents “Will they buy less mellifluous productions If they were more expensive?” And the results were surprising. Because only 8 per cent of them answered “Yes” to
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question. So, there are many individuals who can not quit eating luscious commodities
while
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they know these are harmful to them. Boosting the outlay of saccharine brands will lead the manufacturers to gain more wealth.
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, I totally disagree with
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idea. Since a large content of society will go after sugared merchandise, I believe that making these brands more costly only benefits company owners.
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, they will make more mellifluous commodities.
For instance
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, the sweet factories raised the price of their crops
due to
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inflation.
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, the statistics showed that the public continued buying these merchandise without noticing the rate.
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, just manufactory principles got richer and built more sugary factories. In conclusion, increasing the expenditure on sweetened products can be a way of consuming less proportion of sugar in their daily routine. Meanwhile, I suppose that it is quite useless as the nation will continue using
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output by ignoring the price rise, and
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task will be fruitful for company owners. Generally, I think that if society does not decide to give up on using
such
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commodities wisely, the government can do nothing about
this
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issue.

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task achievement
The introduction clearly states your stance, but it could be enhanced by briefly outlining your main points. This will provide a clearer roadmap for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to help guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate your language proficiency.
task achievement
You have clearly expressed your disagreement with the idea of raising prices on sugary products, and your position is consistent throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your use of real-world examples, such as the New York University study, adds credibility to your arguments and helps illustrate your points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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