Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small and local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #businesses #people #closure #death #communities

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Nowadays,

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

widespread of

supermakets

Correct your spelling

supermarkets

in some nations many small local businesses are at risk of disappearing. While it is believed that the collapse of

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

local

shops

Use synonyms

will cause a significant impact on society, I indeed hold that

this

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type of work is

livelyhood

Correct your spelling

livelihood

of many families, so its closure will mean the backward evolvement of many

communities

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Firstly

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, a lot of developed countries

completly

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completely

embraced the rapid expansion of big

shops

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and consider them as a way of showing their development in

this

Linking Words

field.

Moreover

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, Supermarkets are likely to have cheaper prices, and they are deemed to be more convenient, where a person can find all his desired items in one place

instead

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of going around multiple small

shops

Use synonyms

However

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this

Linking Words

colossal development overshadowed stores, a small

business

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which many families gain their wage from

this

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kind of work, resulting in the rise of an

unemployement

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unemployment

rates in local

communities

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which can affect the economic growth as well.

Secondly

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this

Linking Words

new trend is a threat to

may

Correct your spelling

many

show examples

Use synonyms

shops'

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shops

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owners and

for

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show examples

those who are willing to start a new

business

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as well.

In other words

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, Supermarkets raised the standards of marketing that many young adults can't handle and are too afraid to risk and

lunsh

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launch

lunch

business

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that is

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condamned

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condemned

to fail before its start.

This

Linking Words

means that local

communities

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are

Replace the word

losing

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loosing

Correct your spelling

losing

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their brains and the chance to develop.

For example

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, many youngsters are leaving their hometowns in the hope of finding better

oportunities

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opportunities

elseswhere

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elsewhere

Therefore

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this

Linking Words

new development doesn't only break the

ambitious

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ambition

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of many young people to own a

business

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but it

also

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affects the

societies

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society's

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thrive

Wrong verb form

thriving

show examples

. In conclusion, the competition between Supermarkets and local businesses is unfear and overwhelming to small

businesses

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business

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owners. Some people, namely me, hold that

this

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new culture is having

a counterproductive results

Correct the article-noun agreement

counterproductive results

a counterproductive result

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on the local

communities

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, leading to increased

unemployement

Correct your spelling

unemployment

rates as well as

opressing

Correct your spelling

oppressing

pressing

young

adults

Change noun form

adults'

adult's

show examples

dreams of starting a new

business

Use synonyms

Submitted by majdouline.azouzoute on Thu May 05 2022

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rapid expansion
compete
closure
death
local communities
wider range of products
convenience
unique character
personalized customer service
unemployment
job opportunities
traditional skills
craftsmanship
support
local economy
decline
community spirit

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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small and local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children.To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, more and more children play computer games. Why do you think this is the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarket have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The illustrations show how chocolate is produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Some people believe that studying at university or collage is the best route to a successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.