Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about how to look after their health. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #health

Most individuals are of the opinion that learning institutions rarely educate youngsters on personal healthcare. In my opinion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

partially agree because, while

health

education

is compulsory in some

schools

,it is considered irrelevant in other

schools

. On the one hand,several high

schools

ensure that healthcare

education

is compulsory.

This

simply means that

health

education

and other related topics are taught as a subject in some

schools

as a form of creating awareness on that topic.

For example

,in a school where

health

topics are considered essential,70 per cent of the students are constantly conscious of their well-being ,whereas ,the adoption of

this

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

creates an impact on each individual.

However

,it shouldn't be a distraction

Change preposition

from

show examples

what the main purpose of

education

entails in general.

On the other hand

,it is perceived as irrelevant. Other subjects like mathematics,business studies and computer studies, are considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

more insightful and educative than educating children about how to take care of their

health

For instance

, in a technical college where mathematics and other science-related subjects are mandatory,

health

education

comes in as time-consuming ,

therefore

,the instructor's attention is focused on the goal.

In addition

,students of these

schools

tend to miss out on the importance of maintaining

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good personal hygiene .

Finally

,in my opinion,creating

health

awareness in

schools

are

Change the verb form

show examples

important and should not be scrapped out completely in an educational platform.

instead

the importance should be widely spread by teachers.

Also

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should help in ensuring that topics related to

health

are considered relevant in

learning

Correct article usage

the learning

show examples

ground,which will result

Change preposition

show examples

its significance

widely

Add a missing verb

being widely

show examples

spread in the society.

Submitted by dumebiugwu1999 on Thu May 05 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Vaccinating children against preventing diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous to waht extend do you agree or disagree?
Infectious diseases have become a major concern in every part of the world for a long time. Infectious diseases create harm and significant disadvantages for a specific place or country. Vaccines are designed to induce the human immune system against parasites that cause infectious diseases. Recognizing the mechanism of vaccines to create a robust immune system, I disagree that vaccines are not necessary and dangerous. First, the purposes and effects of vaccines can be linked by people living in certain countries or places. People with immunodeficiency conditions, followed by older people, are the most sensitive groups to be infected. Vaccines are essential as they can create herd immunity, a system where children, teenagers, and stronger people are given vaccine shots. Soon they will develop stronger immune systems against certain parasites that could protect the weaker ones. Secondly, vaccines could induce the human immune system by an active mechanism, which may cause adverse eff...
5.5
band
You are going on holiday and have just remembered that your aunt lives in one of the cities you will be visiting. Write a letter to your aunt. In your letter: * Tell her about your holiday plans * Ask if you can stay with her for a portion of the trip * Explain how you will make it up to her
I hope this letter finds you well and in good health. My friend and I planned a short trip to Dubai for leisure and relaxation, and suddenly you popped into my mind. Also, I’m writing this letter to inform you. Our flight is on 25th April and we booked a hotel near your property for 5 nights and I think if you are free on weekends, I would spend my time with you.
5.5
band
Is teaching people over 65 to use computers the best way to spend government money? To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays, many people are of the opinion that training seniors on how to use the computer are one of the great ways the government can consider to allocate their public expenditure. In my opinion, I strongly believe that this way will benefit the elderly in many positive ways.
4
band
Studies suggest that children spend more time watching TV than they did in the past and spend less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is the case? What measures and methods can be used to tackle with it?
Children spend most of their time in their regular academic activities and with the remaining time they like to spend in front of the screen, which is forcing physical activities to be rare. The causes of this factor can be resolved by minor changes in everyone's life, which are going to be elaborated in further description.
6
band
Many think that in today’s world it is very difficult for people to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, feel that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this modern world, following a healthy lifestyle is considered a debatable topic. Some people hold that it’s way easier to stick into healthy habits and keep your body fit since governments are offering their citizens lots of opportunities, while others deem that leading a healthy life is still not that easy these days. I partially agree with both sides for 2 main reasons.

Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about how to look after their health. Do you agree or disagree?

Vaccinating children against preventing diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous to waht extend do you agree or disagree?

You are going on holiday and have just remembered that your aunt lives in one of the cities you will be visiting. Write a letter to your aunt. In your letter: * Tell her about your holiday plans * Ask if you can stay with her for a portion of the trip * Explain how you will make it up to her

Is teaching people over 65 to use computers the best way to spend government money? To what extent do you agree?

Studies suggest that children spend more time watching TV than they did in the past and spend less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is the case? What measures and methods can be used to tackle with it?

Many think that in today’s world it is very difficult for people to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, feel that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.